How to Build Immense Inner Strength | David Goggins
概要
David Goggins 分享从300磅不识字少年到海豹突击队员的蜕变历程,深入探讨前扣带中回皮层与意志力的关系,以及如何通过持续对抗内心阻力来构建真正的内在力量。
核心洞察
- Goggins 揭示了一个被大多数人误解的核心事实:他的动力系统完全建立在"惩罚"(stick)而非"奖励"(carrot)之上。 49 岁的他每天仍然从"被困扰"(haunted)开始——不是选择,而是必须。凌晨 2 点醒来检查白天学的药物剂量是否记对,每天 4 小时以上重复学习已经通过的考试内容。他说"从我睁眼开始就有摩擦力(friction),不是去冲咖啡的那种早晨"。
- Huberman 介绍了前脑中扣带回皮层(Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex, aMCC)的最新神经科学研究——这可能是"意志力的物理座位"。 关键发现:这个脑区在人做"不想做的事"时变大,在肥胖者中更小、减肥后变大、运动员中更大、长寿者中保持大小。但它具有双向可塑性——停止做不想做的事,它就会萎缩。Goggins 听到这个研究后说"这就是我活了一辈子的方式,我只是不知道它叫什么"。
- Goggins 将意志力定义为"易逝技能"(perishable skill)——不是永久获得品,而是必须每天更新的东西。 这解释了他为何在已成为千万富翁后仍然每年花 3-5 个月做 smoke jumping(从飞机跳伞灭火),放弃数百万美元演讲收入。他称之为"Cap Success"——故意限制财务成功,因为如果全年做演讲和出书,就会摧毁他花一辈子建造的意志力结构。
- 访谈最深层的洞察是关于"内在对话"(internal dialogue)的本质:不是一个声音,而是多个声音的交响乐。 Goggins 说大多数人只有一个声音——告诉他们"你是一坨屎"的那个。他的突破是创造了第二个声音——"你比那个声音更好"。然后在冰冷的太平洋海水中(Hell Week)、在 200 英里跑步中、在每天的学习中,两个声音都不想继续,但他赢了。这不是正面思考,是内在战争。
- Huberman 引用 Paul Conti(Stanford/Harvard 精神科医生)的理论,将 Goggins 的方法与"无意识心智是大脑超级计算机"的框架连接。 Goggins 用"橱柜"(cupboards)比喻:每天从最黑暗的橱柜开始打扫——不是偶尔一次的心理治疗,而是每天的"春季大扫除"。大多数人把橱柜锁上、假装不存在,这就是为什么他们"永远找不到自己"。
- 贯穿全场的核心线索是"不可替代的每日重复"——从 aMCC 的双向可塑性、到 Goggins 的凌晨 2 点复习、到"cap success"的选择、到每天打扫黑暗橱柜,每一个话题都指向同一个不可逃避的结论:你必须每天重做,否则它就消失了。没有捷径,没有一次性解决方案。
学习的痛苦:ADD 患者如何通过纯粹重复掌握医学
核心论点:Goggins 不是天才——他有 ADD/ADHD,从未服药。他通过每天 4 小时以上的手写重复学习,将同一页写到"脑中能翻页"为止。这不是方法论问题,是纯粹的意志力碾压。
- Goggins 现在是加拿大的 paramedic,但他学习方式极其原始:手写每一页内容,反复写同一页直到在脑中形成"照片记忆"——然后他考试时真的在脑中翻页找答案
- 他的伴侣 Jennifer 只要看一遍就能记住,但他必须写十遍以上才能记住一页。"这是世界上最令人沮丧的事情——我的大脑就是这么工作的"
- 他已经通过了所有国家考试,而且分数极高——但他仍然每天学习同样的内容 4 小时以上,因为如果停一天就开始遗忘
- 跑步时完全无法回忆学习内容——他的注意力是完全"V 型沟"式的:做什么就 100% 在什么中,不存在"跑步时复习"
"I have to go over the same page over and over and over and over again... Every single day I will study the same page until it's photographic memory from writing the same thing down." —— David Goggins
"Friction"——从睁眼开始的摩擦力
核心论点:Goggins 与世界的关系从每天第一刻开始就是对抗性的。这不是选择"做困难的事",而是他存在的基本状态。
- Huberman 问"是否和运动一样,学习也有阻力?"Goggins 说不仅有,而且学习的阻力更痛苦——因为他的大脑天生不适合记忆
- "有时候你甚至没有睡觉。凌晨 2 点我的大脑在想一种药物,我必须起来翻书确认我记的对不对。这是我每天的生活"
- 他把自己称为"实验室老鼠"——上帝把一个被虐待的、几乎不能学习的、身体扭曲的、有镰状细胞特质的孩子放在地球上,看能从中产生什么
- 关键区别:大多数人把"做困难的事"当作一种选择(今天我要挑战自己)。Goggins 描述的不是选择——是他活着的默认状态就是困难的
"Sometimes you don't even sleep. It's 2 o'clock in the morning and my brain is thinking about a drug and I gotta get up and look in my book to see if that drug is how I remember it." —— David Goggins
"Haunted"——从 300 磅到 Navy SEAL 的驱动力不是灵感,是被困扰
核心论点:Goggins 24 岁时 300+ 磅,不能读写,做着最底层的工作。他的转变不是来自某个"顿悟时刻"或灵感——而是来自对自己现状的"被困扰"(haunted)。这种困扰从未消失。
- 他看着自己列出的"成为一个正常人需要做的事"的清单——那张桌子比面前的桌子还大——然后意识到"我 16 岁了,不能读不能写,天哪我落后太多了"
- 不是某天醒来觉得"我要成为 Navy SEAL"。是他意识到自己的存在本身就是一种"困扰"——每天当小丑、每天编故事骗人喜欢自己、每天打开课本像看外语
- 这个"haunted"至今仍在:不管他取得了多少成就,它不是永久的。"你不会醒来说'天哪我是 David Goggins,我破纪录了'——不是这样的。因为一旦关掉这个开关,我就回到了那个 300 磅的人"
- 关键洞察:他的系统没有"off"按钮。不是"我曾经很糟糕,现在很好了"的叙事。是"我每天都在和那个 300 磅的人战斗,如果停止战斗一天,他就回来"
"No matter how much you improve, no matter how much you change who you are, it's not permanent. You don't just wake up and say oh my God man you're David Goggins you break records... because once it turns off I go right back." —— David Goggins
前脑中扣带回皮层(aMCC):意志力的神经科学座位
核心论点:Huberman 介绍了一个新发现的脑区——Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex。这个区域只在人做"不想做的事"时才增大。它可能是科学上第一次找到的"意志力的物理基质"。
Huberman 等到这次播客才告诉 Goggins 这个发现,因为觉得"你就是这个研究的活证明"。两人围绕这个脑区展开了整个对话中最具科学性的讨论:
- 关键研究发现:aMCC 在肥胖者中更小,减肥后变大;运动员中更大;长寿者中保持大小;在人做不想做的事时增大——不是做困难的事,而是做你不想做的事
- "Goggins 式"特征:如果你喜欢冰浴,从 1 分钟做到 10 分钟——aMCC 不会增大。但如果你怕水、怕溺水,然后你下水把头沉下去——它就增大了
- 双向可塑性:它可以增长,但停止后同样快地萎缩。"像傻瓜泥(Silly Putty)"——持续维护是唯一答案
- Joe Parvizi 的发现(Huberman 的 Stanford 同事):神经外科手术中电刺激这个区域,患者说"我觉得暴风雨要来了"。医生问"你害怕吗?"患者说"不,我想穿过去"——这就是意志力的神经表征
- 与多巴胺的连接:aMCC 与多巴胺奖励通路有强连接。疼痛也能释放多巴胺——这是大多数人不知道的。aMCC 能在"摩擦力"响应中触发多巴胺释放——这是一种习得能力
Goggins 的反应:"我不知道这些科学,但这就是我活了一辈子的方式。有人在播客上说'你天生就有坚强的意志力'——去他的,这是你必须发展出来的东西。几十年的痛苦和反复回到痛苦中。"
"I don't want to do something but do it anyway — that's what grows this area... It's like Silly Putty, it can shrink. So it requires constant upkeep." —— Andrew Huberman
"I always talk to people, I wish I could put this on paper... You're saying it in a way that people can understand. I could never put in words what I built." —— David Goggins
"Cap Success"——为何放弃百万收入去跳伞灭火
核心论点:Goggins 故意限制自己的财务成功(cap success),每年花 3-5 个月做 smoke jumping 而不是做高薪演讲,因为他认为全年做演讲会摧毁他的意志力结构。
这是整场访谈中最反直觉的部分——一个千万富翁选择亏钱去做一份底层工作:
- Smoke jumping = 从飞机跳伞到偏远火灾现场灭火,通常只有 4-8 人的小队。Goggins 每年花 3-5 个月做这个,"为此亏损数百万美元"
- 他的逻辑:如果整年做演讲巡回 + 开训练营 + 卖补剂 + 写更多书,"我就摧毁了我花一辈子建造的东西"
- "有些东西一直在告诉我——这是一个非常非常易逝的技能。这个意志力是我这辈子从未在任何人身上见过的力量。如果我失去它,一切就结束了"
- 这与 aMCC 的双向可塑性完美呼应:不维护就萎缩。Goggins 在不知道任何神经科学的情况下,本能地做了维护 aMCC 的最优策略
"I lose millions of dollars every summer to do this... The second I just become a speaking monkey and travel around 12 months out of the year, I've ruined the exact thing I worked on my entire life." —— David Goggins
"All Stick, No Carrot"——纯惩罚驱动的系统
核心论点:Goggins 的激励系统完全没有"胡萝卜"(奖励预期)。他不会想象成功后的场景来激励自己。唯一的驱动力是背后的"棍子"——来自过去、来自那个 300 磅版本的自己的持续威胁。
- Huberman 试图用"stick vs carrot"框架来理解 Goggins 的动力系统。Goggins 立刻确认:"全是棍子,没有胡萝卜"
- "想想吧——我现在醒来学习,就像明天要考试一样。我已经通过了那个考试。想想——每天都这样"
- 唯一接近"胡萝卜"的时刻:考试通过的那一刻,有大约"几分钟"的满足感。然后上床睡觉——但整夜都在醒来检查白天的学习是否正确。"胡萝卜消失了"
- 考试时脑中的声音:"有很大概率你过不了,Goggins。这不是你。你不是这种人。你是那个 300 磅的人,你是那个在家里想怎么做发型的人——那才是你"
"There's never been a carrot... The only carrot you have is maybe, maybe, because whenever I take these tests, in the back of my brain it's like: the good chance you're not gonna make it, Goggins. This ain't you, bro." —— David Goggins
内在对话的多声部:不是一个声音,是一支交响乐
核心论点:大多数人只有一个内在声音——告诉他们"你做不到"的那个。Goggins 的突破是创造了第二个声音、第三个声音,形成了一个内在的"委员会"——然后学会在所有声音都说"放弃"时仍然行动。
Huberman 提出了一个洞察:Goggins 掌握的不是"内心独白"而是"内在对话"——对话是双向的:
- 大多数人只有一个声音,这个声音总是引导他们走向舒适。"那是为什么有这么多平庸——因为只有一个人在说话,那个人总是把你引向让你舒服的路"
- Goggins 创造了第二个声音——"你比那个声音更好"。但关键不是正面思考:这个第二个声音也很痛苦。它说的是"我不会骗你 Goggins,你将要经历地狱。你会被打倒,被嘲笑,内外都在告诉你滚蛋"
- 他学到的第一件事不是如何赢——而是如何失败。"当你 300 磅不能读写、要成为 Navy SEAL——你最好先学会如何正确地失败。因为如果你在失败中待太久出不来,就永远完了"
- 最终状态:多个声音都在说"不",但经过 25-30 年的练习,"你有了信念——我知道我能做到这个——所有声音都说不,但你仍然有决心走完"
"I didn't teach myself victory first. I taught myself failure. I taught myself how to fail... If you don't know how to fail, there is no victory." —— David Goggins
"Unseen Work"——独自训练建立的内在药柜
核心论点:Goggins 一生中 99% 的训练是独自完成的——没有训练伙伴、没有教练、没有拍背。这建立了一个不依赖任何外部输入的内在激励系统——他称之为"药柜"(medicine cabinet)。
- "我 99% 的训练是独自完成的。没有人拍我的背。我做了所有的工作——独自。这就是为什么我随时可以提取真正的动力"
- 当困难来临时,他不需要激励视频、不需要咖啡、不需要 pre-workout。"我只需要翻一下大脑里的索引卡——'去你的 Goggins'——哦,让我们今天用那个"
- 不喝咖啡、不用补剂、不用任何外部刺激物。曾连续跑步 70 小时无咖啡因
- "每个人都有自己的药柜,但除非你自己进去把药放进去——它永远是空的。你永远需要 pre-workout、永远需要别人拍你的背"
- 关键区别:外部认可(团队欢呼、教练鼓励)是"虚假的多巴胺冲击"。真正持久的动力只能来自独自克服困难的记忆
"I've trained 99% of my life alone. No one patted me on the back. I did all of the work alone... I can take myself to such a level of real passion that I can't even explain — by myself. I don't need anyone." —— David Goggins
人际关系的"交易":给你一切,给我空间
核心论点:Goggins 处理关系的方式极其直接——"我确保你拥有你需要的一切,这样你就可以让我一个人去工作。"这不是冷漠,是一种深思熟虑的交换。
Huberman 问了一个他"准备了好几周"的问题——关于亲密关系如何影响这种极端的自律生活:
- Goggins 的答案出人意料地具体:"我对家人是不平衡的——我确保他们拥有一切所需。钱、房子、爱、支持——全部。这样当我要去工作时,我有权说'我需要这段时间'"
- 他让每个进入他生活的人从一开始就知道:"我不是你想要的那种男人。会有很多深夜、很多清晨、很多我必须独处思考的时间"
- 有些关系成功了,有些没有。但他决不再犯年轻时的错误——为了讨好别人而牺牲自己的成长。"当你这么做的时候,你停止了活着。对方很开心——因为你给了他们想要的一切——但你感到空虚"
- Jennifer 就在隔壁房间——Goggins 直接说"如果我说错了,请她进来纠正"
Paul Conti 的"橱柜"理论与每日打扫黑暗角落
核心论点:Goggins 引用 Huberman 与精神科医生 Paul Conti 的对话,用"橱柜"(cupboards)比喻来解释他每天的内在工作——不是偶尔的心理治疗,而是每天从最黑暗的橱柜开始打扫。
- Paul Conti(Stanford/Harvard 训练的精神科医生):无意识心智是大脑的"超级计算机"——不是前额叶。大多数人不做内省工作来理解无意识如何控制他们
- Goggins 用这个比喻描述自己的日常:"那些黑暗的橱柜——碎玻璃、蜘蛛网、蜘蛛、最重要的是你最大的恐惧和把你搞砸的东西——都在里面。大多数人喜欢把它们锁上,假装不存在"
- 他的做法:每天从最黑暗的橱柜开始。"我不是从胜利开始——不是'看看我的成就真美'——不。我直接去那些会让我永远被埋葬的东西。如果我不先清理它们,这一天就没有开始"
- "很多人可以说一次——'是啊,我爸打过我'——然后走开。那不够。你得深入到每一个细节,不是擦一下灰尘,是要'spit-shine'那些东西"
"Those dark cupboards... broken glass, dark, spiders, cobwebs. But most of all your biggest fears, the biggest things that put you in the f*ed up place you are today are in there. That's why we all like to keep them shut." —— David Goggins
"永远被找到"(Always Found):真实自信的最终状态
核心论点:Goggins 的终极目标不是快乐、不是成功——而是"永远不再迷失"。当你通过持续的内在工作建立了真实的自信,你"永远被找到"——旅程不会变容易,但你永远知道自己是谁。
- Huberman 问 Goggins 最终要到达哪里。回答不是任何外在目标:"旅程不会变容易,但你永远被找到。你永远不再迷失"
- 这种"被找到"的感觉来自一个非常具体的东西:你说的每句话都是真的,因为它真的发生过。不是你相信发生了——是你知道发生了。行动,不是感知
- "你知道当你看着另一个男人的眼睛,你说的每句话都是真的、都来自你真正做过的事——这是世界上最好的感觉。不再有谎言、不再有回避真相"
- 这就是为什么他"不觉得缺少什么"——当所有人(包括最富有的人)都来问他"我觉得我缺少什么"时,他的回答是:你缺少的是那 75% 的你——仍然被锁在里面,因为你不愿意去找你的意志力
"The journey doesn't get any easier. But you're always found. I'm never lost anymore." —— David Goggins
从"一分钟视频"到"真正的 David Goggins":为什么他被误解
核心论点:Goggins 认为自己是世界上被误解最多的人之一——人们看到的是跑步、骂人、受伤的脚,而真正的他是一个每天在内心最黑暗角落工作的人。表面的"硬核"只是冰山一角。
- "人们想给我拍纪录片——我说不要。因为普通人会说'他的生活真悲惨,谁想那样活着'。是的——如果你不想那样活,你就继续做你的人。继续问自己是不是缺少什么"
- 骂人不是为了效果——"当你把那么多工作投入进去、而人们用一分钟视频来评判你——那些脏话是因为我在那里。我在重新经历每一个黑暗时刻来坐在这里跟你说话"
- 曾经的偶像——Rocky、Platoon 的角色——在他年轻时是不可企及的幻想。"我活了一种如此自律的生活,以至于我曾经仰望的那些虚构角色……我变成了他们"
- 他只做了两个播客(Rogan 之后就是 Huberman),因为"如果我要伟大,我就没时间做播客。我做这些是因为也许有人能从中得到什么"
附录:关键人/机构/产品/数据
| 名称 | 说明 |
|------|------|
| David Goggins | 退役 Navy SEAL,超马跑者,49 岁,《Can't Hurt Me》和《Never Finished》作者 |
| Andrew Huberman | Stanford 神经生物学和眼科学教授,Huberman Lab Podcast 主持人 |
| Jennifer | Goggins 的伴侣/助手,帮他测验学习内容 |
| Paul Conti | Stanford/Harvard 训练的精神科医生,提出"无意识心智是超级计算机"理论 |
| Joe Parvizi | Huberman 的 Stanford 同事,发现电刺激 aMCC 引发"暴风雨要来了,我想穿过去"反应 |
| Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex (aMCC) | 前脑中扣带回皮层,做不想做的事时增大、停止后萎缩的脑区 |
| Smoke Jumping | 从飞机跳伞到偏远火灾现场灭火的工作,Goggins 每年 3-5 个月 |
| Hell Week | Navy SEAL 训练中最艰苦的一周,Goggins 经历了 3 次 |
| 300 磅 | Goggins 24 岁时的体重,转变的起点 |
| 49 岁 | Goggins 录制此播客时的年龄 |
| 4 小时+/天 | Goggins 每天学习的最少时长(已通过考试后仍坚持) |
| 70 小时 | Goggins 曾连续跑步的时长,无咖啡因 |
| 99% 独自训练 | Goggins 一生中训练独自完成的比例 |
| "Cap Success" | Goggins 的概念——故意限制财务成功以保持意志力 |
| "Perishable Skill" | 意志力的特性——易逝,必须每天维护 |
| 双向可塑性 | aMCC 的特性——可以增大也同样快地萎缩 |
| "Silly Putty" | Huberman 对 aMCC 双向可塑性的比喻 |
| "Medicine Cabinet" | Goggins 对通过独自克服困难建立的内在资源库的比喻 |
| 2016-2017 | Goggins 曾访问 Huberman 的 Stanford 实验室的时间 |
David 还是一位非常成功的作家,著有两本书——《Can't Hurt Me》和《Never Finished》,两本都是畅销书。David 的书涵盖了许多话题,包括他对自己极其艰难的童年和青年时期的自传式描述。他的家庭充满虐待,学校环境也充满虐待,基本上没有任何正面资源指向他。二十多岁时,他发现自己已经肥胖到超过 300 磅,做着一份他鄙视的最低薪工作。正是在那时,David 开始了一场内在对话,迫使他直面童年的恶魔以及自己作为年轻人所处的困境,然后开始了将自己转变为 Navy SEAL、超马跑者、畅销书作者以及他今天这个极具正能量和影响力的人的旅程。
你们中有些人可能知道,David 做过各种公开演讲,他在网上是个熟面孔,因为 YouTube 上有大量他的视频片段,他也上过播客。但我确信你们会发现今天的对话和 David 之前参加的播客非常不同。原因是,我们当然会谈到他的成就,谈到让他取得这些成就的心态,但今天 David 真正让我们看到了引擎盖下面的东西。他让我们进入了他必须拥抱的那种内在对话形式——他每天都必须与之搏斗,有时一天中多次,白天和夜晚都有——才能施加他所闻名的那种自律。我们还会探讨意志力背后的一些科学机制,以及 David 目前的事业,包括他对科学和医学的自我探索,他已经成为这方面的认真学者和实践者。
我要提一下,今天的讨论中你们会多次听到脏话。David 和我都承认,脏话不适合所有人,而且骂脏话本身和对着别人骂脏话是不同的。尽管如此,我们确实意识到很多人,尤其是家长,可能不想听到脏话。如果你不想听脏话,这期播客可能不适合你。但如果你能接受脏话或者能忍受,我保证今天的讨论非常值得一听。
David Goggins,欢迎,很高兴再次见到你。
David is also a highly successful writer having authored two books, the first entitled "Can't Hurt Me" and the second entitled "Never Finished," both of which are best sellers. David's books cover many topics including his autobiographical description of what can only be described as an incredibly challenging child and young adulthood. His home was abusive, his school environment was abusive, he essentially had no positive resources directed his way. And in his 20s he found himself to be obese, that is more than 300 pounds, working a job he despised for minimal pay. And it was at that point that David began an inner dialogue that forced him to explore the demons born out of his childhood but also the position that he found himself in as a young man, and then began the journey to navigate that dialogue and transform himself into the Navy SEAL, the ultramarathon runner, the bestselling author, and the extraordinarily positive and influential man that he is today.
As some of you may know, David has done various public lectures, he's a familiar face online because there are so many clips of him on YouTube, and he has done podcasts before. However I'm certain that you'll find today's discussion to be very different than previous podcasts that David has been featured on. The reason is that of course we get into his accomplishments, we talk about the mindset that allowed him to achieve those things, but today David really lets us under the hood. He lets us into the form of inner dialogue that he has to embrace, indeed that he has to grapple with on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times throughout the day and night, in order to impose the sort of self-discipline that he is so well known for. We also get into some of the scientific mechanisms underlying willpower, and we talk about David's current endeavors that include for instance his own exploration of science and medicine for which he has become an intense scholar and practitioner.
I should mention that multiple times throughout today's discussion you will hear curse words. Now David and I both acknowledge that cursing isn't for everybody and that cursing itself is different than cursing at somebody. Nonetheless we do realize that many people, parents perhaps especially, might not want to hear cursing. If you don't want to hear cursing, well then this podcast episode is probably not for you. However if you are comfortable with cursing or if you can tolerate it, I assure you today's discussion is highly worthwhile.
David Goggins, welcome man, good to see you again.
所以我就是坐在那里,拿着笔和纸和课本,把每样东西都写下来。每一天我都会学习同一页,直到通过反复书写形成照片记忆。然后我会回过头去重新学一遍,先学大框架,再深入学小细节。如果是一种药物,我先学这个药物的作用,首先得学会怎么读这个药名,因为这些药名不像什么"Albuterol"那么简单,都是非常大的词。所以我得先学会怎么念名字,再学剂量,然后继续——每一天都是这样。不存在"我会了"。
每一件事——这就是为什么我迫不及待要进入这个对话,因为我生活中做的每件事都很痛苦。每件事都很痛苦。这就是为什么当我 300 磅、24 岁的时候,不是突然灵光一现说"让我去当个 Navy SEAL 减减肥"。不。我知道我的整个人生都将是一场挣扎。这就是为什么我一直逃避,我说我连试都不想试——学读书、学写字、学记忆、学成为一个我不是的人。
但在那个过程中,我身上发生了一些事。我意识到——这就是为什么我在这个播客里不会同情任何人。他们会很不喜欢我,因为人们会觉得我在撒谎、在夸大。不。我真的是地球上最低等的存在,没有天赋,没有学习能力。我真真切切地知道什么叫做跌到谷底,然后从那里一点点建起来。所以关于学习这个问题——它让我很痛苦,而且我不是非做不可。这是关键。我 49 岁了,是个千万富翁。我什么都不用做。小时候我一直想的就是,总有一天我不用再做这些了。但后来我长大了,它变成了一种生活方式。
所以我每天怎么过就是每天怎么过。这是一种纪律、一种规矩、一个选择。这个选择就是:你愿意牺牲什么、放弃什么来找到自己作为人类的每一分潜能?我愿意为此付出一切。所以学习这件事绝不是闹着玩的。
So what I do is I literally sit there with a pen and paper and I have my books and I go through and have to write everything down. Every single day I will study the same page until it's photographic memory from writing the same thing down. And then from there I'll go back through and relearn again, so I'll learn the bulk of it but then I'll go through and learn the small things within that. So if it's a medication, I'll learn what the medication does, first I'll learn how to even say the medication because these medications aren't like, you know, like Albuterol, no, it's very big words. So I'll go through, learn how to say the name, then I'll go through, learn what the dose is, then I'll go through, and this is like every single day. So not like oh I got it, let's just go through, no, nothing is "I got it."
Every single thing, that's so, I can't wait to get in this conversation because everything I do in life, it sucks. Everything I do in life, it sucks. That's why when I was 300 pounds and 24 years old, it wasn't like I had some big epiphany of let's just go be a Navy SEAL and let's lose some weight. No, I knew my entire life was going to be a struggle. Which is why I just ignored it and I said I'm not even trying to jump off into this and learn how to read, how to write, how to memorize, how to become something I am not.
But through that process something happened to me and I realized, that's, this is why I feel sorry for no one in this podcast. They're going to really not like me because people are going to think that I am maybe lying or maybe fibbing or exaggerating. No, I am literally, I was the lowest form on Earth, no talent, no ability to learn. And I literally know what it is to be rock bottom and to build that up. So that question about learning, it's a pain in my ass and I don't have to do it. That's the thing about it. I'm 49 years old and am a multi-millionaire. I don't have to do anything. So all I thought about when I was growing up is man, I can't wait till one day get to the point where I no longer have to do this stuff. But what happens, I got older, it became a way of living.
So how I do every day is how I do every day. It's a discipline, it's a regimen, it's a, it was a choice I made. And the choice I made was, what are you willing to sacrifice and what are you willing to give up to find every bit of who you are as a human being? And I was willing to give everything to do that. So studying is no joke.
那么用手写的方式记东西对你很重要。你会回去看那些笔记吗?你跑步的时候会想那些内容吗?还是你把一天分段处理——学完习就出去跑步,想别的事情?还是你跑步时还在脑子里复习?
And so, so the process of writing things down by hand is important for you. Do you, so you go back and read those notes? Do you think about that stuff on your runs too, or you segmenting your day, like when you're done studying are you heading out for a run and thinking about other things, or are you still rehearsing the material in your head?
跑步的时候我完全回忆不起来任何学习内容。我的大脑现在就是这样运作的——我做什么就全身心在什么上面。因为对我来说,跑步需要的专注力——我不是什么优秀的跑者,也不是没有伤痛。跑步前 20 分钟我都在瘸。我真的在瘸,因为我做过好几次膝盖手术,身体是扭曲的,现在正在矫正。人们看到我说"他跑步好像在瘸"——我就是在瘸。我的身体已经报废了。所以我把注意力集中在如何从一个破碎的身体中榨出最大价值。我做的每一件事都是全力专注于当下正在做的事。
When I run I can't recall any of it. I cannot bring any of that, because I'm running. How my mind is wired now is that everything I do is what I do, because the focus it takes for me to, like right now I'm running, I'm not like a great runner, I'm not like injury-free. So like my first 20 minutes of the run I'm limping. I'm literally limping because I've had several knee surgeries and my body was twisted, and so now it's untwisting. So people look at me, oh looks like he's limping when he runs, I am limping when I run. My body's jacked up. So I'm focusing on how to get the best out of a broken body. So everything I do is a total focus on what I'm doing at that point in my life.
经历了"我不想去特殊学校,我不想被区别对待"的过程,我从来没吃过药。我从来没有为此吃过任何药物。你现在看到我直视你的眼睛——这就是为什么我不同情那些有 ADHD、有学习障碍的人。有些确实是不可能的,你就是做不到。但很多是可以的,只是人们不想经历那个专注的过程,教会自己如何真正地专注。
这就是我的信息被误解的地方。因为我可能说脏话,因为那是从我内心迸发出来的激情——学一个句子就需要我付出全部。所以当我谈论 David Goggins 的时候,我没办法用平静冷静的方式说。因为我醒来就知道找到自己的伟大需要付出什么代价,它很难。没有什么是容易的。
我每天看着人们度过他们的生活,对我来说要到达今天这个位置,需要我的全部。所以当我说起这些,你会开始看到我的太阳穴鼓起来,激情涌出来,因为我回到了那里。我在做我每天都做的事——成为一个人类。没有什么是容易的。跑步就是跑步,它很痛苦。但你必须做一个选择:你想坐下来回到你曾经是的那个人吗?不。所以这就是代价。
这种被误解是必然的,他们永远不会理解,因为他们从来不是 David Goggins。这就是我做我做的事所需要付出的。对你来说可能不同。对我来说,一切都必须全身心投入——学习、锻炼、任何地方。这就是为什么自从 Rogan 之后出书以来你是我做的第二个播客。我没有时间做播客。如果我想伟大,我不是在试图最大化金钱或知名度。我做这些是因为也许外面有人能理解我、能从中成长。其他人不会。
And through that process of like, I don't want to be in a special school, I don't want to be treated any differently, it really like, I never took medication. I've never taken medication for this. That's right, right now you see me looking right in your eyes, what the hell is, you know, is you been saying right now. And that's why I don't feel bad for people who have ADHD, who have learning disabilities. And some are impossible because you just can't. But a lot of them you can, and but people don't want to go through the process of focus, of teaching yourself how to truly focus.
This is where my message gets lost. It gets lost because I may say, you know, MF or F, where, you know, I may be, because that's the passion that comes out of me, because that's, it takes everything for me to learn a sentence. So when I speak about David Goggins, I can't speak about David Goggins in a way that's just calm and cool, because when I wake up I know the journey that takes for me to find my greatness and it's hard every, nothing is easy. Nothing just like, oh I wake up and I just do this or I do that or it just, no.
I watch people every day go through life and it's so easy for me to be where I'm at today, it takes every bit of me. So when I speak about it, and as I get going here, you'll start seeing me, the temple will rise, the passion will come out, because I'm back there. I'm doing what I do every day to become a human being. And so nothing is easy. Like running is running, it sucks. But you have a choice to make, do you want to sit down and go back to that guy you once were? No. So this is what it takes.
It takes that misunderstanding of people and they'll never get it because they were never David Goggins. So that is what it takes for me to do what I do. It may take you something differently. So for me everything has to be in the studying, everything has to be into this, everything has to be in everywhere I am has to be there, me focused where I am. That's why you're my second podcast I've done since Rogan since the book came out. I don't have time for that, because if I want to be great, I'm not trying to maximize money or maximize people knowing me. I do these things because maybe someone out there will understand me and get it and say I can grow from this guy. And others just won't.
要做到这些,摩擦力,你不是早上起来去冲咖啡。事实上有时候你根本不睡觉。需要的是——凌晨 2 点,我的大脑在想一种药物,我必须起来翻书确认我记的对不对。这是我每天的生活。
这就是为什么当我训练一个格斗选手或训练某个人的时候,我会说,你根本不知道你有多了不起。因为你只用了你所拥有的极小极小一部分。如果人们能学会专注,这就是可能发生的事。虽然它不好看——人们想给我拍纪录片,我说不。我希望你拍我的纪录片,因为普通人会说"他的生活太悲惨了,谁想那样活着,他看起来像个病人,像个疯子"。
世界上最让我沮丧的事情就是普通人评判像我这样的人——从虚无中提取伟大到底需要什么。如果你选择这条路,它需要你的一切。如果你不选,那祝你圣诞快乐,做你的事去。这些东西对我来说——我跟你说了我会说实话。我不是来这里谈什么"无目的的表现"之类的概念的。因为我写这些书的时候,我试图简化 David Goggins。我怎么能把这个疯狂偏执的大脑里的东西给普通人?
怎么给他们?所以我和 Jennifer 坐在一起花了好几年,写出"无目的的表现"、"让你的心智变硬"、"武装你的心智"、"饼干罐"、"问责镜"这些人们可以在生活中使用的概念。不不不,我很高兴它帮到了你。但是我所过的这种野蛮的生活,你必须过的这种生活,你必须拥有的近乎偏执的投入才能伟大——这些你放不进书里,兄弟。放不进去。写不出来。它必须被亲身经历。
它必须被亲身经历。即使经历之后写进书里,人们也会觉得这家伙需要被关起来。太血腥了。一个人每一秒都在试图从中榨取更多,他不停地在想,不停地自律,永远不偏离道路,不管身上受了什么伤他都能想出办法。这是征服者的心态。几乎没有人能真正理解那是什么感觉。
我快 50 岁了,这样活了将近 30 年。你问我有什么乐趣?
So to do that, friction, you don't wake up in the morning time and go to coffee maker. Matter of fact, sometimes you don't even sleep. What it requires is when I'm at 2 o'clock in the, it's 2 o'clock in the morning and my brain is thinking about a drug, and I got to get up and look in my book to see if that drug is how I remember it. And this is every day of my life.
That's why when I train a fighter or I train someone, I'm like, you have no idea how great you really are. Because you are using such minimal, minimal of what you have. And if people can learn to focus, this is what's possible. While it may not be pretty, like people want to do a documentary on me, I go, no. I want you to do a documentary on me because I will have normal everyday people picking me apart on, his life is miserable, who wants to live like that, he looks, it's crazy how he, it's almost like he's sick, he's psychotic.
The most frustrating thing in the world for me is when normal people judge a man like myself on what it really takes to extract greatness from nothing. It takes every bit of who you are if you choose that route. If you don't, Merry Christmas, do what you got to do. But yeah, all these things for me, like I told you, I'm gonna keep it real. I'm not coming here to talk about like, you know, perform without purpose. Because I go through, when I write these books, I go through, I try to dumb down David Goggins. How can I give normal people, and I'm normal, but I found something that most don't want to find, how can I speak to people and give them something from this crazy psychotic brain that I've developed?
How can I give him that? So I sit down with Jennifer for years and write down, perform without purpose, callous your mind, armor your mind, the cookie jar, the accountability mirror, that people can use in their lives. No, no, I'm glad it helps you, but the barbaric life that I live, that you have to live, the almost obsession that you must have to be great, you can't put that in the book, bro. You can't. Put it in a book, you can't, you can't write about it, it has to be experienced.
It has to be experienced, and you can't, even after you experience it, to write it in the book it would seem like he needs to be locked up. Too gory, it's too gory. It doesn't make sense for a guy that everything, every second of the day, he is trying to extract more from something. He's constantly thinking, he's constantly, constantly disciplined, never going off the path, whatever is injured on him he figures a way. It's a conqueror's mindset and very few people, if any, can really understand what that is.
Like, I'm almost 50 and I've been this way for almost 30 years. Like, what you do for fun?
当你有任何一点——任何一点男子气概、人性、灵魂、骄傲——我一定就有那么一点点骄傲,因为正是那一点为我打开了大门。因为你每天都是一个角色,每天都是一个小丑。每天打开西班牙语课本或科学课本或英语课本,看着它——就像看外语一样。你说我从哪开始?从哪开始?
显然那一切是必要的。我越说越觉得它是必要的。因为发生的事情是——我被这个事实困扰(haunted)了:这就是我的存在。你必须跟它共处。我在那种状态下活了很多年。然后我坐下来说,好吧,我知道这需要什么。当你坐下来,以我那么糟糕的状况,面前有一张和这张桌子一样长的清单——我要做什么才能成为一个正常人,一个月能赚一千块——光是到达那里就让我绝望。我 16、17 岁,不能读不能写,天哪我落后太多了,我的大脑充满抑郁,我爸打我妈,她不在家,学校里的孩子叫我种族歧视的词——天哪我该怎么办?
没有人来到我身边说"嘿,你能行"。这完全靠我自己。所以人们想知道这个冷酷的人是怎么来的?我不是想要冷酷。这是我生活的现实。这是很多人生活的现实。那一切必须发生,才能让我被困扰——被困扰到去提取、去榨出那个该死的——今天那种困扰仍然在那里。
因为不管你进步了多少,不管你改变了自己多少,它不是永久的。你不会醒来说"天哪我是 David Goggins,我破纪录了"。人们想知道,你怎么能一直这么硬?因为我从来没有关掉那个开关。一旦关掉,我就回到了那个原来的 David Goggins——那个我每天都在对抗的人。
这是一个选择。这个选择让你被误解,让你看起来疯狂。这就是为什么我讨厌社交媒体。2013 年人们就想让我写书,我 2018 年才写,花了五年。原因是我坐在桌前,Jennifer 在那里,那些人都在说"你得上社交媒体"。我说去你的。那是毒药。因为我知道我做了什么才到达这里,然后我要让这些普通人——胖、懒、和我曾经一模一样的人——来评判我?
因为我知道。因为我曾经就是他们。我所有的努力、所有的奉献,然后要让某个普通人拿着他的小布朗尼、小叮当、嘟嘟卷,坐在那儿喝着咖啡挑我的毛病。"他一定不开心。他就是——你知道每天早上穿上这双鞋有多难吗?我要让你来挑我的毛病?"所以是的,这里面有太多东西了。我当时就说我永远不想跟这些沾边。
When you have any kind of, any manhood, womanhood, a human being, a soul, a spirit, any, I had no, I must have just this much pride, because that's exactly what opened the door for me. Because every day you were a character, every day you were a clown. Every day you open that Spanish book or that science book or English book and you like, you looked at it, was like, it looked like a foreign language. And you're saying where do I start, where do I start?
And obviously it was necessary, the more I talk about it, it was necessary. Because what happened is I became haunted by the mere fact that this is my existence. And you got to live with that. I lived with there for a lot of years. And so I sat back and said, okay, all right, I know what this takes. And when you sit back, as fucked up as I was, and I had a laundry list, a table like this, of what I have to do to become just a human being that can make ends meet, that can make a thousand a month, just to get there was like, oh my God, dude, like, how? I'm 16, 17, I can't read, I can't write, and I, oh my God, I'm so behind the power curve, and my brain is about being depressed, and my dad beat my mom, she's not home, and kids are calling me nigger at school, and I'm like, oh my God, man, what the fuck do I do?
And it wasn't like someone came around and said hey man, you can do this. This is all me. So people want to know, where's this cold man come from? I'm not trying to be cold, it's the reality of my life. It's the reality of a lot of people's lives. And so yeah, that had to happen for me to be haunted, to be haunted, to pull out, to extract the goddamn, today that haunting is something that's still there today.
Because no matter how much you improve, no matter how much you change who you are, it's not permanent. You don't just wake up and say, oh my God, man, you're David Goggins, you break records, you do this, you do that. People want to know, how are you, how are you able to just be so hard? Because I never turned the thing off. Because once it turns off, I go right back to the David Goggins that is, and that's the guy that I'm constantly fighting every day.
And it's a choice, and that choice makes you misunderstood, it makes you crazy. That's why I hate social media. In 2013 people wanted me to write my book, I did it in 2018, took five years. And the reason why I didn't do it, I sat at the table and Jennifer was there, this before I, she started working for me, I started dating her, whatever, and all these people were there and they're like, man, you got to go on social media. And I was like, fuck you, man. Like, I'm not, that's, it's poison, it's poison. Because I knew what I did to get where I am, and I'm gonna have these people, these normal everyday people, fat, lazy, in exactly who I was, judging me.
Because I know it, because I was once them. All my hard work, all my dedication, I'm gonna have some normal dude get his little brownie, his little dingdong, ho ho, twinkie, sit there with his coffee, picking me apart. Oh, he must be unhappy. He's just, do you know how hard it is to put these shoes on every damn morning? I'm gonna have you pick me apart. So yeah, there's so much that goes into this that I was like, this, I never want anything to do with it. So anyway.
但我现在意识到你的情况是——从来没有人说过"我会站在你身边"或者"我会挡在你前面"。所以这就像你有不同版本的自己——但全是你。你在 2013、14、15、16、17 年就知道社交媒体的问题——我不确定我有那个觉知力,能在做这么多事的同时还保护自己。对吗?
But I'm realizing that your situation was, no one's ever said, hey, I'm going to stand here next to you or get in front of you, right, put a shield up. And so it's almost like you've got these different, it's all you, but there's versions of yourself that, like, you knew social media, like, I don't know that I have the wherewithal in 2013, 14, 15, 16, 17, right, to get in front of myself while doing all this cuz I've already got so much going on in here, right. Is that about right?
你说的对,但对我来说——我现在知道了。我不需要你来指引我的未来。我知道什么对我好什么对我不好。对我来说,这需要我全部的专注力。我了解社交媒体。人们喜欢上那里,因为他们想展示生活的好的一面。我不教好的那一面。所以 2016 年我上线的时候,我必须想出一种方式来教你生活的真相——对我们大多数人来说就是地狱。
人们喜欢展示车、房子、度假和所有美好快乐的东西。我要展示的是我知道你们大多数人正在经历的那一面。人们很会隐藏。我不想再隐藏了,我隐藏了 24 年。所以这就是为什么我说了,我们可以谈任何话题。作为人类,我们必须学的第一件事——我小时候口吃也很严重,所以如果你偶尔听到我口吃,那也是我生活的一部分。
人类想展示最好的一面,隐藏最差的一面。对我来说,我要教你如何变得脆弱,因为那是你修复自己的唯一方式。你不是靠来这里让我卖书给你来修复自己的。这就是为什么我没带书,我忘了。我很高兴人们从书中得到了一些东西。我想让你明白,成长的唯一方式就是看着自己说:好吧,就像我做的那样——面前一张比这张桌子还长的清单,我他妈的要做什么才能到达某个地方?
上面没有一件好事。什么都没有。是的,我喜欢打篮球,我把那个去掉了,我不在乎那个。那个没有上清单,因为我必须遵循的清单——那就是那张会让我最终坐在这里跟你说话的清单,跟曾经和我一样的普通人说:你可以到达某个地方,但它看起来很丑。
没有激情,没有动力,没有"天哪我太兴奋了"。就是你生活中的每一天,只是去做。没有激情,没有纪律,没有动力。这些词——我讨厌人们现在用这些词,因为它们被稀释了。它是一个人坐在房间里,审视自己,说"天哪,这会很难受"。你 300 磅的时候激情在哪里?你不能读不能写的时候动力在哪里?
那它是怎么发生的?我就是做了。我就是做了。我说也许在这段旅程的尽头会有什么等着我。如果没有——我至少能读书了。如果没有——我至少 185 磅了。没有什么灵丹妙药。所有那些词都被过度使用了。一切只是——去做。你活着。你想怎么活?你想怎么死?你想怎么被记住?就这些。就这些。句号。
And so yeah, what you say is right, but for me it was more of, I know now. I don't need you to guide my future. I know what's good for me and what's bad for me. And for me it took every bit of focus I could. I know social media, that's why people love to go on there, because they want to show you the good side of life. I'm not teaching good side of life. So I had to figure out a way, when I came on in 2016, of teaching you what life really is for the majority of us, is hell.
And so while people love to show you the cars and the house and the vacations and all that's good, all that's happy, I'm going to show you the side that I know most of you're going through, and people hide very well. I don't want to hide anymore, I hid it for 24 years. So that's why now, I told you, we can talk about whatever you want, because as human beings, the first thing we have to learn, I also stuttered real bad growing up, so if you hear me stutter every now and then it's because that was part of my life also.
So it's funny, human beings want to show you the best side and they want to hide the worst side. For me, I'm going to teach you how to be vulnerable, because that's the only way you fix yourself. You don't fix yourself by coming out here and me selling you some books. That's why I don't have them, I forgot them. I'm glad people got something from the book. I want you to learn that the only way you grow is how to look at yourself and say, okay, like I did, table longer than this, what the fuck I have to do to get somewhere.
There was nothing good on there. Nothing. Yeah, I love playing basketball, I left that out, that's something I love to do. I don't care about that, that didn't make the list, because the list that I had to live by was, it was the very list that was going to get me at this table with you, to talk to you, to the normal human beings, which I once was, about how you can get somewhere and how it looks. Looks very ugly.
There's no passion, there's no motivation, there's no, oh my God, man, I, this is, no. It's every day of your life just doing. No passion, no discipline, no motivation, yeah, all these words. I hate, people, I hate that so many people use these words now because it's watered, it's someone sitting in the room by themselves and they figure themselves out and say, God, this is going to suck. Where's passion when you're 300 pounds? Where's the motivation when you can't read and write? Where is it?
So how did this happen? I just did. I just did. I said maybe at the end of this journey there'll be something there for me. If not, I can read. If not, I'm 185 pounds. There was not, there's no magic potion, there's no, oh let me wake up and look at some, no. All those words are overused. They're, it's all just, do. You're living. How do you want to live? How do you want to die? How do you want to be remembered? That's it. That's it. Period.
你是个失败者的原因,你不成功的原因,你试图到处找答案的原因——我去各种大会演讲,我看着观众,这些人年年报名,以为他们会学到不同的东西。不。你就是懒。你完全知道该怎么做。因为连我这个不能读不能写的状态,我都知道该怎么做。只是做起来太痛苦了。每天早上醒来说"天哪,我不聪明,所以我得把那个我考了全国最高分的东西再学一遍。再来一遍。再来一遍"。它不会永久地留在我脑子里。
所以是的,全是棍子。唯一的胡萝卜就是——也许。也许。因为每次我参加那些很难的考试,脑子后面有个声音说:"你很可能过不了,Goggins。这不是你。你不是这种人。真正的你——你就算学再多,150 道题的电脑考试一打开,这不是你。"然后不知怎的,成绩出来——过了。又过了。又过了。
但那个声音每次都把我拉回来,说"那不是你,兄弟。那不是你"。我必须比那个声音更努力。当我考试碰到不会的题——然后它说"我告诉过你。那不是你。你是那个 300 磅的人,坐在家里琢磨怎么做发型的人——16 岁就秃了还做反向发型——那才是你。"
所以没有免罪金牌。这就是为什么我说"stay hard"——保持硬核。因为当你没有被赋予天赋的时候,你能做的唯一一件事就是保持硬核。我知道人们受不了我。受不了这种话。这就是你能做的一切。没有灵丹妙药。你能做的就是比上帝创造出来的那个你更努力。那看起来一点都不有趣。这就是为什么我说不要给我拍纪录片。因为人们不会看到真相。他们会看到他们想看到的——"我不想那样活"。好。很好。那你就继续你现在的样子——质疑自己是谁,想知道什么是可能的。
或者你可以成为我。我快乐吗?我不知道。从没想过。也不在乎。因为我真正在乎的是当我照镜子的时候——16 岁、300 磅的时候镜子里看到的是一坨屎。那时候我在找快乐?不。我看着镜子说"好,你今天又做到了。你是个狠人。"因为那很痛苦。那种胡萝卜大概只有几分钟。然后上床睡觉——胡萝卜就没了。因为我整晚都在醒来检查白天做的东西。这个药对了吗?那个对了吗?天哪,我已经在忘了。
就是棍子。那根棍子在困扰你。跟着你走。所以墙上没有 Jordan 的海报。你不会听 YouTube 励志视频。那些反正都是你自己的声音。你不会听最喜欢的 10 首歌来热身然后穿上鞋。全在这里。全在脑子里。
我胖的时候确实那样做过。Rocky,那是我的东西。第 14 回合是我的标志。但越来越大之后那些就消失了,我开始从我曾经看的那些人身上创造——Rocky 是一个。Platoon 里的 Barnes 和 Elias。《A Few Good Men》里的 Jack,他在证人席上发疯。我看到这些角色,我想"我什么都没有"。但他们是虚构角色。
过了一段时间,我过了一种如此自律的生活,以至于我曾经仰望的那些虚构角色——我作为一个人把那些都建造出来了。年轻的时候我脑子里有一个画面:一个男人应该是什么样的?我把所有这些硬汉角色放在一起。在我的脑子里,我变成了那个人。这让我坚持了很久——我有一个白日梦,要变成这个的一点、那个的一点。因为当你没有父母抚养、没有榜样的时候,这不是白日梦,你开始创造一个现实。也许我能成为那个。
在成为这个人之后——那是我一生中能做到的最大的事——我变成了我曾经仰望的那个人。现在看着自己想"谁他妈能做到这些?"我能。但它需要一种没有人能理解的纪律。每个人都有能力做到,但他们就是不想。他们想继续提问、继续参加研讨会。
伟大就在你体内。这就是为什么我再说一次——我不会同情你。我不会粉饰我要说的话。因为你们都知道我说的是真话。每个人都知道。如果你一无所有,我必须告诉你那看起来是什么样——很丑。不是纪录片,不是 HBO 特辑。那看起来像火车失事、像噩梦。努力工作看起来很可怕。它一点都不励志。
不像 Rocky 第 14 回合被打倒然后站起来对着 Apollo Creed。看起来像一个人被困在地牢里,没有出路。但你有钥匙,你就是不用。这一点都不励志。所以不,不要给 David Goggins 拍纪录片。真实的 David Goggins 就是纪录片。它已经在被书写了。你正在经历它。
The reason why you're a loser, and the reason why you're not making it, and the reason why you're trying to go through all these, I go to all these conventions, speak all the time. I look in the audience and these people sign up, sign up, sign up every year to go to convention thinking they're going to learn something different. No. You're lazy. You know exactly what to do. Exactly what to do. Because even me, in my state of I can't read and write, I knew exactly what to do. It just sucks doing it. It sucks to do it. It sucks to wake up every morning of your life and say, God, man, I'm not smart, so guess what I gotta do, I gotta study the same shit that I got one of the highest scores in the nation on and do it again, do it again, do it again. It's not just there, it's not just there permanently for me.
So yeah, it's all stick, it's all stick. The only carrot that you have is like, maybe. Maybe. Because whenever I take these tests that are real hard, in the back of my brain it's like, the good chance you're not gonna make it, Goggins. This ain't you, bro. This ain't you. You weren't born like this. This ain't you. The real you, bro, study all you want to, but the second that computer comes on with 150 questions, this ain't you, man. And somehow comes back, I passed. Passed again. Passed again.
But that rude me back here every time, is saying, that ain't you, bro. That ain't you. And I have to outwork that voice. When I'm taking that test and I get to a question I don't know the answer, I'm like, man. And then it says, I told you, man. That ain't you. You 300 pound man, you sit at home, you figure out how to do your hair, that's what you do. How to come to school with the reverse baldness when you're 16. That's you.
So there is no get out of jail free card. This is why I say stay hard. Because when you weren't given the gifts, the only thing you can do in life is stay hard. And I know people cannot stand me. They can't stand this talk. This is all you can do. There's no magic pill or a magic potion. All you can do is outwork the man that God created, or woman, in you. And what that looks like is unfun. That's why I said do not do a documentary on me because people will not see the truth. They will see what they want to see, is, I don't want to live like that. Good. Good. And you will live exactly the way you live now, questioning who you are, wondering what is possible, wondering what you are capable of doing. That's how that looks.
Or you can be me. Which, am I happy? I don't know. Never really thought about it. Don't really care about it. Because all I really cared about was I looked in that mirror, I saw a piece of shit. Happiness wasn't on the mirror at 16, around 300 pounds. It was like, oh my, I'm looking for happiness? No. I'm looking, look at myself in the mirror and say, all right, you did it again today. You're a bad boy. Because that sucks. I have about a couple minutes of that, when I got the carrot. Second, lay down and go to bed. The carrot is gone because I'm waking up all through the night to check the work I did that day. Did I get this drug right? Did I get this right? Did I get that right? What did I do? Oh my God, I'm already losing it.
It's a stick. That stick is haunting you. Haunting. It's following you around. So no picture of Jordan on the wall. You're not listening to YouTube inspiration videos. Those would be all your voice anyway. You're not listening to your top 10 favorite songs just to get rolling and then lace the shoes, hit the books. It's all in here. All in there.
I used to do that when I was fat. Rocky, I mean, people know that, that was my thing. Round 14 was my thing. And as I got older and older and older, that started to go away and I started to create, out of all these people that I used to watch. Rocky was one. Barnes, Elias, from Platoon. Jack from A Few Good Men, you know, he's on the stand going crazy. I saw a lot of these characters that I looked at and I was like, man, I ain't got none of that. But they were characters.
After a while I lived a life so disciplined that everybody that I once looked to, these fake characters, I built that as a man. And when I was younger I had this image in my mind of what does a man look like to me, and I got all these people who are badasses, characters. And in my mind, I became that. And that's what kept me going a lot, was I had this pipe dream of becoming a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Because when you have no parents raising you and you have no role models growing up, you, it's not daydreaming, you start to create a reality. Like, maybe I can be that.
And after becoming this guy, that is the biggest thing I can ever do in my life, is I became that guy that I once looked at. All these guys now, look at myself like, God, who the fuck can do that? I can't. But what it takes is a discipline that no one can ever even, they just don't, they don't understand it. They don't understand. Everybody has the ability to do it but they just don't want to. They want to keep asking questions and keep going to seminars.
And the greatness is right in you. That's why once again I'll say this a million times here. I do not feel sorry for you. I will not sugarcoat what I'm going to say to you because all of you know what I'm saying is the truth. Everybody knows this the truth. This is what it looks like. And you know it too. You know it too. This is what, if you ain't got nothing, I hate to tell you what it looks like. It's ugly. It's not a documentary, it's not an HBO special. You ain't gonna watch, hey man, you guys gotta watch this. No, it's like, oh God, this looks like a train wreck, look like a nightmare. This looks like this guy got no, that's what it looks like. Hard work looks horrible. It's not motivating. It's not motivating at all.
Ain't like Rocky round 14, he gets knocked down and do like this to Apollo Creed. Looks like a man being stuck in a dungeon and there's no way out. But you have the key, but you refuse to use it. And there's nothing motivating about that. So yes, no documentary on David Goggins. The real life David Goggins is the documentary. It's already being written. You're living it right.
更有趣的是——这是最新的数据,但已经有很多了。这个脑区在肥胖者中更小。减肥后变大。在运动员中更大。在那些认为自己面临挑战并克服挑战的人中尤其大。在长寿的人中,这个区域保持其大小。
在很多方面,科学家们开始认为前脑中扣带回皮层不仅仅是意志力的座位之一,也许实际上是**求生意志**的座位。
Now here's what's especially interesting about this brain area to me, and by the way I'm only learning this recently because it's new data, but there's a lot of it. The anterior mid-cingulate cortex is smaller in obese people. It gets bigger when they diet. It's larger in athletes. It's especially large, or grows larger, in people that see themselves as challenged and overcome some challenge, right. And in people that live a very long time, this area keeps its size.
In many ways, scientists are starting to think of the anterior mid-cingulate cortex not just as one of the seats of willpower, right, but perhaps actually the seat of the will to live.
所有数据都指向一个事实:我们可以增大这个区域。但是一旦我们停止投入那些困难的、我们不想做的事——这是最有"Goggins 风格"的部分——如果你喜欢冰浴,你从 1 分钟做到 10 分钟,你的前脑中扣带回皮层没有增大。一点都没有。但如果你怕冷水、怕溺水,然后你下水把头沉下去——它就增大了。
但如果你第二天不做了,或者你做了但你享受它——因为"嘿,我昨天做到了,耶,圣诞快乐"——这个脑区又萎缩了。
对我来说这是神经科学有史以来最重要的发现之一。因为它就是——我不想做某件事,但还是做了——这就是让这个区域增大的东西。就像我有个朋友,戒酒 30 年了,他总说"成瘾最了不起的事情是它有治愈方法。问题是它一次只管一天。"你必须每天更新它。
所以当我了解到前脑中扣带回皮层的时候,我脑子里响了两个警报:第一,这太有意思了。第二,我必须告诉 David Goggins。我等到现在才告诉你,因为我想在这里告诉你。
And all the data point to the fact that we can build this area up. But that as quickly as we build it up, if we don't continue to invest in things that are hard for us, that we don't want to do, that's the part that feels so Goggins-esque, sir, to me. That we don't want to do, like if you love the ice bath, yeah, I love the ice bath, and you go from 1 minute to 10 minutes, guess what? Your anterior mid-cingulate cortex did not grow. None. But if you hate the cold water, if you're afraid of drowning and you get into water and put your head under, then your anterior mid-cingulate cortex gets bigger.
But if you don't do it the next day, or if you do it the next day and you enjoy it because, hey, I did it yesterday, woohoo, happy me, Merry Christmas, as you say, guess what? The anterior mid-cingulate cortex shrinks again.
To me this is one of the most important discoveries that neuroscience has ever made. Because it's that, I don't want to do something, but do it anyway. That grows this area. And it's almost like, I have a friend, he's been sober 30 years from alcohol, and he always says, you know, the amazing thing about addiction is there's a cure. The problem is it only works one day at a time. And so you have to renew it every day.
So the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, to me, when I learned about it, two things went off in my head. Whoa, this is super interesting. And two, I got to tell David Goggins about this. And I waited until now to tell you because I felt like, I, well, for obvious reasons I wanted to tell you, and I wanted to tell you here.
这就是为什么很多从 Navy SEAL 训练毕业的人——我公开说过很多次——很多人不想回到那个水里去。不想回到困难的事情里去。任何困难的事。一旦你熬过去了,你就变成了战俘。有多少战俘想回战俘营?没有。
当生活中某件事太痛苦的时候——就是我们现在讨论的——很少有人想回去。他们很高兴自己毕业了。我意识到我也一样。我不想回去。但我**必须**回去。我**必须**回去。因为我生命中所有的知识都存在于那里——在过去那个地方。
我之前不知道你说的这些,但我是怎么建立意志力的——就是不断地做这些事。到了现在,它就是生活了。我醒来,虽然仍然痛苦,但就是生活。你不会坐在那里说"天哪"——我有不想做的日子,但我知道我会做。我从多年的坚持中知道这一点。
这很美,我很高兴你告诉我这些。因为人类需要听到这些。他们需要停止听那些关于各种"hack"的东西。没有 hack,兄弟。没有 hack。桑拿这些,好吧,很好。但没有什么生活 hack 能让那个东西增长。你怎么让它增长?做。做了再做,做了再做,再做。那就是 hack。那个 hack 会很痛苦。
这就是我意识到的。生活。这就是为什么我今天想来这里。我不想来谈什么激情、目的、怎么他妈的从床上爬起来、怎么按闹钟。所有这些口号。因为那不是我活过来的方式。我醒来就像每个人一样——"我今天就是一坨屎。这他妈怎么行得通?"然后你跟它战斗。你不是覆盖它。没有覆盖按钮。是脑子里的对话。
那你怎么做?我们没有足够这样的对话——关于每个人脑子里都在进行的真正对话,而他们不知道怎么走出来。但他们知道。就是那个东西。你必须建立你的意志力。怎么建立?就是你刚说的。就是你刚说的。
That's why a lot of people who graduate Navy SEAL training, they want to know, like, in my, I talk about very openly all the time, a lot of guys don't want to go back into that water. Don't want to go back into the hard stuff. Maybe not in anything hard, anything hard in life. Once you get through it, it's like you become a POW. Like how many POWs you know want to go back to POW camp? None.
When something sucks so bad in life, this is on this that we're talking about now, very few people want to go back. They're happy they graduated. I realized I'm the same way. I don't want to go back. I have to go back. I must go back. Because that is exactly where all the knowledge of my life exists, was back there.
And what you're exactly talking about, well, I didn't know anything about this, but how I grew a will was constantly doing these things. To now, it's just life. I wake up, while it still sucks, it's just life. You don't sit back and like, oh my God, like, I have days I don't want to do, but I know I'm going to do it. I know from years of just doing it.
So that's beautiful and this is why I came on here with you today. And I'm glad you're talking about this because human beings need to hear this. They need to stop hearing these hacks on this and that. There's no hack, bro. There's no hack. Yeah, you may, this and that and saunas and all this, that, they, yeah, it's great. There is no life hack to grow that thing. How do you grow it? Do it. And do it and do it and do it. That's the hack. The hack is gonna suck.
And that's what I realized. That's what I realized. Life. That's why I wanted to come on here today. I didn't want to come on here and talk about no passion and purpose and how to get the fuck out of bed and how to hit a alarm clock. All this catchphrase. Because that wasn't how I lived. It wasn't how I lived. I lived, I woke up like every human being does and goes, man, I'm a piece of shit today. How the hell is this going to work out for me? And you fight that and you fight that. You don't override it. It's no override button. It's the conversation in your, like, in your head.
So how do you do that? We don't have enough of these conversations about the real conversation that every human being is having and they have no idea how to get out of it. But they do. It's that right there, man. You gotta build your will. How do you build your will? Exactly what you said, man. Exactly what you said.
任何你喜欢做的事都不会增强意志力的这个方面。听到的时候觉得很明显——"当然了"。但我觉得当你分享今天这些内容的时候,你真正把这个闭环了。你在解释——摩擦力是关键成分。人们以为"如果是努力,那我就在进步"。那是一部分,必要但不充分。
但那个痛苦的部分。被困扰。棍子。这些是非常不愉快的词。这些可能是这个播客有史以来用过的最不愉快的词。但那些就是杠杆。那些就是齿轮。没有它们,你说的这个东西——David Goggins 作为一个**动词**——人们说"我要 Goggins 一下"——我觉得你说的就是这个。棍子、摩擦力、被困扰。是痛苦的部分让前脑中扣带回皮层增大。
Anything you like to do is not going to enhance this aspect of willpower. And it seems so obvious once you hear it, you kind of go, oh yeah, of course. But I think you really close that loop for people when you share what you're sharing today and what you've shared elsewhere before as well. When you're trying to explain the friction is the critical ingredient, right. And I think people think, oh, if it's effort, well then I'm getting better. That's part of it, necessary but not sufficient as we say in science.
But the suck part. The haunt. Being haunted. The stick. They're really unpleasant terms. Very. These are probably the most unpleasant terms we've ever used on this podcast. Very. Those are the levers. Those are the gears. And without those, this thing that you're talking about, David Goggins as a verb, right. You know, I sometimes make the joke but it's not a joke, right. Goggins is a name and it's a verb. People go, I'm gonna Goggins that, right. But that's, I think, again, I'm not a psychologist, but I think that's what you're talking about. The stick, the friction, being haunted. It's the suck part that grows this anterior mid-cingulate cortex.
但有趣的是,即使是最富有的人,拥有一切的人,他们总是问我这个问题:"我觉得我缺少什么。"我不觉得我缺少什么。你永远不会听到我说我缺少什么。每个人都缺少。他们缺少的是这种感觉。
我很久以前就找到了。就在那个意志力的东西里。当你什么都不是,然后把自己变成某个东西——你可以叫它快乐、平静、随便你叫什么。人们缺少的正是 David Goggins 身上发生的事。你为什么不笑?我会笑的。但我想通了一件事。你永远不会听到我说我缺少什么。我好几年前就找到了。你在痛苦中找到它。反复在痛苦中找到它。直到你确切地知道自己是谁。
大多数人觉得缺少什么,因为他们不知道自己是谁。他们从未审视自己。从未在自己身上做过这个实验。我们都是实验室老鼠。但你自己就是科学家。你创造你自己。大多数人觉得缺少什么,因为他们体内还有太多被困住的东西。大概 75% 的你还在里面,被锁着。因为你不想去找你的意志力、你的灵魂、你的决心、你的勇气。
那看起来很吓人。就像你那个可怕的小实验室。我进去了。每天醒来说"我很蠢,但我要想办法变聪明"是很吓人的。而不是说"我做不到"。所以你限制了自己的盒子。你的盒子变得越来越小。我的盒子甚至不是盒子——就是一个针孔。然后通过审视自己、获得一些意志力和勇气,它变得比这张桌子还大。
这就是我们所有人都在做的。这就是为什么我今天想来这里跟你聊真实的东西。没有 hack,兄弟。是你对你自己。如果你误解了这一点,你就有大问题了。我能理解你误解我光着膀子跑在街上——好吧,我能理解。但如果你误解我今天说的这些话——问题出在你身上。你不想修复它。
But what's so funny about it is, even the richest of rich, who have everything, they always ask me this question. I feel like I'm missing something. I don't feel like I'm missing, I don't have what you all have. But you'll never in my life hear me tell you I'm missing something. Everybody is. They're missing this feeling.
I found it long time ago. I found it right there in that willpower thing. When you're nothing, nothing, and change yourself into something, like me, you call it happiness, peace, whatever the fuck you want to call it. People are missing exactly what went on with David Goggins. Why don't you smile? I do. I do. But I figured something out. That's why I am, never, you'll never hear me say I'm missing something. I found it years ago. You find it in the suck. You find it in the suck. And you find it repeatedly in the suck, to the point where you know exactly who you are.
Most people are missing something because they don't know who they are. They never examine themselves. They've never done this experiment on themselves. The lab rat, we're all lab rats. But you're all, you're the scientist. You create your own self. Most people are missing something because there's so much trapped in there. I want to say potential, I think that's a word used out too much too. There's so much in you that God, or wherever the hell you believe in, or if you're atheist, in you, that you have not unlocked. That you walk around with this gorgeous wife or great husband, all this money, like, God, I feel like I'm missing something. Yeah. Because it's about 75% of you is still in there, still chained up. Because you just didn't want to find your willpower. Didn't want to find your soul, your will, your heart, your determination, your guts, your courage.
And what that looks like, it looks scary. Like, your little scary lab. I went in. Scary to wake up every day and say, I'm stupid, but I want to figure out a way to be smarter. Versus saying, man, I just can't do that. So you limit this box. So your box becomes so small of things you can do. My box wasn't even a box, it was a little like pinhole. And then through examining myself, getting some willpower, some courage, it became bigger than this table.
But that's what we all do. That's why I want to come here today and talk to you about real shit. Not, no, like, hacks. There's no hacks, bro. It's you against you. You against you. And if you misunderstand that, you have a real problem. Real problem. I can understand you misunderstand me running down the street shirt off, this, no, yeah, I can get it. I get it. If you misunderstand what I'm saying right now today, the problem is you. And you don't want to fix it.
或者我觉得有一大类人——今天这个对话让我意识到——他们不是超级成功,也不是在挣扎。他们刚好"够成功",以至于永远不需要主动施加摩擦力。你也说了,你的银行账户已经到了不需要做你所做的任何事的地步。但你意识到棍子和被困扰就是引擎里的燃料。放弃它你就真的疯了——因为你已经把它内化了。但大多数人,他们"够好了"。所以他们并不真正想变得更好到愿意一级一级往上爬。
Or I think there's this big category of people I'm realizing as we have this conversation today, that they're not super successful, they're not struggling, they're like successful enough that they never have to, you can get to the point where you don't have to impose friction. And you even said it, right, your bank account is in a place where you don't really need to do all the things you do, probably not even a small fraction of them. Do nothing, right. But you realize the stick and being haunted is the fuel in the engine, right. And you'd be truly crazy to give that up, because you've internalized all that, right. But most people, they're good enough for them. And so they don't actually want to be better badly enough in order to start going rung after rung.
想象一下在那段时间里我发展了多少。但这是可怕的部分。大多数人不想建立意志力,因为这很吓人。它会解锁一大堆关于你是谁、你不是谁的东西。很多人不想走上那段发现自己的旅程,因为它不好看。我走过了。不是走了一次——我一直在走。
当你解锁了它,你没法关掉它。人们说"你怎么还不退休?"我建立了这么多意志力——你觉得它会让我因为膝盖疼就退休?它每天早上告诉我——膝盖疼、腿疼、身体疼。但你还能跑。那你为什么不跑?如果你还能跑,总有一天你跑不了了。但你现在还能跑。
所以我还在跑。等跑不了的那天,身体会告诉你"你真的跑不了了"。但只要我还能做,我建立的那个意志力就会让我每天去做。这就是人们不理解的。建造一个人的方式是——从小的积木开始,然后不知不觉你变成了一个对大多数人来说不可思议的东西——因为那就是你了。这就是为什么我 50 岁了还能带着报废的膝盖和报废的身体跑步——因为我的身体知道你还行,所以我做。你一停,意志力就没了。
这太美了。我很高兴你告诉我这些。因为我一直在想这种分离感是什么。24 岁的时候我开始建造一些东西,我甚至不知道它在 49 岁的时候会变成什么。那就是它——就是那个。
So imagine how much I've developed in that time frame. But this the scary thing. Why most people don't want to do that, build that willpower, is because this is scary. It unlocks a whole bunch of things about who you are and who you're not. And a lot of people don't want to go down that journey to discover who they are and who they're not, because it's not a pretty journey. I mean, I've gone down it. It's not like I went down it once, I go down it all the time.
And when you unlock that, and you can't just turn it off, like people say, hey, how come you haven't retired yet? I built all this willpower. Do you think it's gonna let me just retire? Because my knees hurt? It's telling me every morning I wake up, like, man, I don't, my knees hurt, my legs hurt, my body hurts. But you can still run. So why aren't you running? If you can still run, there'll be a time when you can't lace them up anymore. But you can still run.
So I still run. When the time comes I can't run, the body will say you just can't run. But if I can still do something, that willpower that I have created, it makes me do it every day. And that's what they don't get. What builds a human being is, you start with the small building blocks and before you know it, man, you become something that, it doesn't even make sense to most people because it's just who you are now. That's why I can still run at 50 with broke down knees and broke down body, because my body knows you still can, therefore I do. Second you stop, the willpower is gone.
And that's beautiful. I'm so glad you brought that to me because I always wonder what's this separation thing. Now, at 24 years old I started building something that I didn't even know was going to be what it is now at 49. And that's all it was, was just that.
前脑中扣带回皮层能在我们所说的"摩擦力"的回应中触发多巴胺释放。这是一种习得能力。没有任何动物或人类天生就有。我们都厌恶疼痛、喜欢快乐。但这个结构会学习。它有神经可塑性——终生都能改变。
关键是——人们说"它有可塑性,你可以改变它"——但它在**两个方向**上都有可塑性。它可以增大,但同样容易萎缩。就像傻瓜泥。所以它需要持续维护。
这个答案不是人们想听的。他们想要能量饮料、补剂、桑拿方案。有人现在在想"如果我用经颅磁刺激刺激这个地方呢?"实际上他们做过——神经外科手术中把电极插入这个结构。这其实是我的同事 Joe Parvizi 发现的。刺激之后患者说"我觉得暴风雨要来了"。医生问"你害怕吗?"他们说"不,我想穿过去。"停止刺激后——这就是我们讨论的东西的所在地。
它会学习。所以你保持了这个脑结构——我确信如果我们扫描你的大脑,它会很大,一年后会更大。但这就是"永不休息"的原理——因为它既能增大也能萎缩。
The anterior mid-cingulate cortex can trigger the release of dopamine in response to this thing that we're calling friction. And that's a learned thing. That's something that no animal or human being comes into the world learning. We all are averse to pain and like pleasure, like sugar, fat, don't like hot surfaces, right. But this is a structure that learns. It has neuroplasticity, the ability to change throughout the entire lifespan.
And here's the part that I think again is just neuron nerd speak for what you already know and have done and exemplify, is that people say, oh, it has plasticity, you can change it, but guess what? It has plasticity in both directions. It can grow, but just as easily as it can grow, it's like Silly Putty, it can shrink, right. So it requires constant upkeep, right.
And that answer isn't one that people are going to like. They're like, give me the energy drink, give me the supplement, give me the sauna protocol that's going to make my anterior mid-cingulate cortex, someone out there right now is going, wait, if I took transcranial magnetic stimulation and I stimulate, yeah, you'd probably, actually they've done that. They've stuck a little wire during neurosurgery into this structure, this is actually discovered by a colleague of mine, Joe Parvizi, stimulate, and the patients go, I feel like there's a storm coming. And they go, oh, is it scary? And they go, no, I want to go through it. They come off the stimulation and people are like, this is the seat of what we're talking about, right.
And it learns. So the fact that you've kept this brain structure, I'm convinced if we imaged your brain it'd be large, and it would be larger in two years, a year. But this is the no days off rationale, because it can grow and it can shrink.
人们觉得那是疯狂的,因为如果你无法想象自己做某件事,那个正在做的人就是疯子。因为在你的逻辑里它讲不通。所以你必须给人贴标签——对我来说那个标签通常是"他疯了"。不。
出于某种原因,我如此强烈地想要击败生命中的某些东西——我创造了那个。我花了很多年试图向人们解释。但即使你现在在解释——这是容易的部分。他们听到这些是容易的部分。困难的部分——为什么永远只有极少数人能做到——是把它付诸实践。不行。那就是恶魔出现的时候。那就是你说"我不想变得更好。如果这就是变好需要的代价,我不想变好。"
所以到处都是平庸。这让我每天都愤怒。我走在地球上看到到处都是平庸。他们问我"你是怎么做到的?"我没法告诉你——因为你不会去做。你会继续颓废下去。因为每天醒来——不是冲咖啡、做煎饼、亲亲老婆孩子。你醒来就直接开始工作,你的头脑立刻进入行动。没有人想那样做。我不怪他们。但当你 70、80、90 岁躺在病床上想着"我觉得我没有做某些事"——因为你确实没做。
你可能过了不错的人生。但你内心永远会觉得空虚。我不觉得空虚。所以随便你怎么说我。我身体里没有一根空虚的骨头。因为我找到了——至少对我来说——真正的灵丹妙药。而且非常有回报。
People look at it as crazy because, people that, just, if you can't imagine yourself doing something, if you can't imagine yourself doing something, the person that's doing it is crazy. Because in your mind the logic behind it, it doesn't compute. Therefore you have to give somebody a title, and a title for me is usually, he's crazy, he's this, he's that. No.
For some reason, me wanting to beat somebody so bad in my life, I created that. And I've been trying to figure out years of my life, trying to explain to people. But even though you're explaining it now, this is the easy part. Them listening to this is the easy part. The part that, why there'll always be the ones of ones, is because putting that into practice, putting that into actual work, no, man. No, no. That's where the demons come in. That's where you're like, I don't want to be better. I don't want to be better if this is what it takes to be better. I don't want to be better.
So everybody's, that's why there's a lot of average. And it makes me so mad. Every day I walk this Earth and I see average all over the place. And they want to ask me, how did you do it? I can't tell you how, because you're not gonna, you're not gonna do it. Not going to do it. You're going to continue being fucked up, because every day you wake up, like he says, it's not like, get coffee, make the pancakes, kiss the girl, kiss the kids. You wake up, right to work, immediate, your mind is in action. No one wants to do that. No one. And I don't blame them. But don't be mad when you're laying there in your bed and you're in the hospital and you're 70, 80, 90 years old, and you're thinking, and I feel like I didn't do something. Because you did. You didn't do it. You didn't do shit.
You may live a great life, man, but you're always gonna feel empty inside. I don't feel empty. So call me what you want. There's not one empty bone in my body because I have figured out that really the magic potion, at least to my life, and it's very rewarding.
你前 20 年在极其困难的环境中度过。你能理解人们怎么到了一个觉得一切都很难的地步。当你 300 磅的时候——我从没到过 300 磅,但我能想象起来走动的感觉不好。让人气馁。我有个朋友超过 300 磅,我们试了十多年了,没有进展。他小腿后面有严重的牛皮癣,有时候身上有味道,因为太胖洗不干净。生活对他来说很艰难而且越来越糟。一个有很多健康问题的年轻人。
这种人会想"已经这么难了,为什么还要让它更难?"你的信息有点不同——你有过那种经历。所以我这种从瘦变成不那么瘦的人说"减肥吧"没什么说服力。你对那些说"起床已经很难了,不崩溃已经很难了"的人说什么?
And as you mentioned, you spent the first 20 years of your life in extremely challenged circumstances. And then you can see how people get to a point where like everything feels hard. Like when you're 300 pounds, I have never been 300 pounds, but I can't imagine it feels good to get up and move around. It's defeating. I got a friend, he's in excess of 300 pounds. We've been trying on him for years, but no, no win. And he's got crazy psoriasis on the back of his calves and he actually smells bad sometimes because he can't wash as well as he would, he's big, big, right. And it pulls all my sympathy, right, you know. But life is very hard for him and getting worse. He's a young guy with a lot of medical issues now for obvious reasons.
And so I think people like that think, well, it's already hard, why would I make it harder? Your message is a little different, and you have the life experience, it's a lot different. You've been there. So for me saying, oh yeah, lose weight, you know, I was a skinny guy who got to be a less skinny guy, so I don't really have a foot to stand on. What do you say to those people who are like, listen, I'm getting up in the morning is hard, trying to not dissolve into a puddle of my own tears and my own misery is hard?
我不会对那些人说太多。也许你就是一坨屎。也许你就是想做个无名之辈。也许你就满意你现在的状态——显然你是的。也许你没有决心成为一个比现在更好的人。如果你能接受——每天醒来身上有味道因为洗不了澡,皮肤烂了因为健康太差,穿衣服都需要帮忙——如果那让你感觉不错?我什么都说不了。
如果你每天醒来都这样——人们也被困扰着,但他们显然喜欢恐怖片,因为他们一直在看同一部电影。我不喜欢恐怖片。很多人喜欢恐怖片。所以我不多说。我就说我刚才跟你说的那些。因为我曾经就是你。我不喜欢那部恐怖片,所以我换了。
有些人就是——当你懒、你胖的时候,你的意志力变得那么小,小到什么都没有了。你没法给他们。必须有什么东西——在他们体内。必须有什么东西醒过来。通常唯一能唤醒它的人就是你自己。有时候读一本 David Goggins 的书能帮忙——因为我经历过所有这些甚至更多。但如果你连一点点火苗都没有——你就完了。我没法替你点燃它。这就是我拼命想传达的残酷现实。
你可以看我、看你、看 Rogan、Cameron Hanes、Tony Robbins——做所有这些。你可以不停地回去,不停地花钱,花钱,花钱,没有结果。然后你想"让我试试 David Goggins"。他也帮不了你。
你必须探索、审视自己的内在,搞清楚你到底想从生活中得到什么。你的朋友——很多人就是不想要。那就去享受你的生活吧。从 300 到 350 到 400 到 450 到 500。因为你不想要。这就是残酷的现实。我没法给你,你也给不了他们。我们给你想法。但到头来,当我在减肥的时候,我必须在每个寒冷的早晨痛苦地醒来——那是 Indiana 的 11 月。我很痛苦。
这是你的新生活。接受或者离开。没有什么快乐的。没有什么平静的。它就是痛苦。如果我能教任何人一件事——它就是痛苦。而且会继续痛苦。然后有一天你到达生活中一个特别的地方,也许会好一点点。但要减肥——朋友,抱歉,每天都会很痛苦。因为你 300 磅出去运动,很可能受伤。然后你得处理伤痛,然后更抑郁了。这是我经历的。然后你饿了,因为你很抑郁。恶性循环。如果你心理不够强、没有意志力,你就会不断掉回那个洞里。
而不是像另一种人那样坐下来说"好吧"——这就是为什么我骂脏话。因为这就是我体内的东西。这就是我成为我需要的代价。不是"好的,今天我们来做这个"。不。这他妈的真的很痛苦。这是真的。每天我被打回去。被打回去。被打回去。被打回去。
所以我会这样告诉你的朋友。就是这些。每天醒来你可能会在前四个星期不断被打回去,在你减掉任何明显体重之前。因为你的头脑会一直跟你作对。没有多巴胺。300 磅的时候没有多巴胺。什么都没有。荷尔蒙全部崩溃了。你必须想象一个比你更强大的东西。必须有什么东西让你起床,你必须创造它。它必须是虚假的——因为你不是那个。你是一个胖得一塌糊涂的人——这是现实。所以你必须创造一个虚假的现实来活在其中,只是为了开始改造自己。这就是现实。
I don't say much to those people. I, maybe you're a piece of shit. Maybe you want to be nobody. Maybe you're happy exactly where you are in life, cuz obviously you are. Maybe you don't have the determination to be somebody better than who you are. And if you want to live with that, I'll support you in that. If you're good with being who you are, that every day you wake up and every day you smell like shit because you can't wash your body well, and your skin's messed up because your health's so bad, and you can't put your clothes on right, you need help with that, you need help, like when I was damn near, I need help wiping my ass, that makes you feel good? Nothing I can say to you.
If every day you wake up with this, see, people are haunted, but they obviously like horror films because they keep watching the same movie. I don't like horror films. A lot of people like horror films. So I don't say much to them. I say exactly what I said to you right there. Because I was once you. I didn't like the horror film, so I changed it.
Some people are just, they become, like you said, it gets real small. When you're lazy and you're fat, your will, their will is so small that they don't have any. And you can't give it to them. There has to be something, this is what I'm talking about now, because this isn't a hack. This has to be in you. Something in you has to wake up. And usually the only person that can wake it up is you. Sometimes you can read a David Goggins book because I was all this shit and then a lot more of fucked up. But if you don't have a little flame, you know, just, that, just barely, you're done. I can't light it for you. And that's the harsh reality of this life that I want to get across so bad.
You can watch me, you can watch you, you can watch Rogan, and Cameron Hanes, all these, you can go to Tony Robbins, all this. Do all this. If you, you could keep going back and keep spending money and spending money and spending money with no results. You're gonna wonder, wow, maybe let me go try out David Goggins. He ain't gonna help you.
You have to explore, examine the insides of yourself and what do you really want out of life. Your friend, a lot of people out here just don't want it. So guess what? Have fun with your life. Go from 300 to 350 to 400 to 450 to 500. Because you don't want it. And that's the harsh reality. I can't give you, you can't give them. We give you ideas. But at the end of the day, when I was losing the weight, I had to miserably wake up every morning in the cold, because it was Indiana, November, when it started. I was miserable.
This is your new life. Take it or leave it. There's no happiness about it. There's no peace behind it. It sucks. It just sucks. And that's the one thing, if I could teach anybody anything, it just sucks. And it's going to continue to suck. And then one day you get to a special part in your life that it might get a little bit better. But to lose the weight, you have to, lose, my friend, sorry, it's going to suck every day. Because then when you're 300 pounds, you're gonna go out to lose weight, you could probably get injured. So then you got to work on the injury and then you get even more depressed. This is what I went through.
And then you're hungry because now you're depressed. It's just a vicious cycle. And if you're not strong mentally and you have no willpower, you're going to continue falling back in this hole. Versus the man that sits back and goes, all right, this is why I cuss. Because this is what is in me. This is what it took for me to be me. Sorry it didn't take, hey, okay, we're gonna do this today. No, this really sucks. This is real, dude. This is real. And every day I'm set back, I'm set back, I'm set back, I'm set back.
So this what I would tell your boy. This what exactly what I tell him. Every day you wake up, you're going to probably be set back for the first four weeks before you lose any significant weight, because the mind is going to be fucking with you the whole time. There's no dopamine. There's no dopamine in there at 300 pounds. You got nothing. Your hormones are shot.
You have to envision something that is more powerful than you. Something has to get you out of bed and you have to create it. It has to be false, cuz you're not it. You're a fat piece of shit, and that's the reality of it. So you have to create a false reality to live in, just to get to work on yourself. That's the reality.
这就是人们需要明白的——你知道该怎么做。你为什么不做?我现在说的也包括我自己。你知道那种被动消费的模式有多容易淹没我们。
And that's the thing that people need to get, that you know what to do. Why aren't you doing it? And I'm talking about myself now. You know those modes of just kind of passive consumption, they're so easy to wash over us.
但是对,我觉得有些东西经过时间确实变成了天赋或者说恩赐。但有很多事对我来说极其困难,我从你的榜样中学到了东西。我知道你非常谦逊也非常清楚——你说你不会通过研究你来得到答案。但你今天分享的方式,有一些东西真的帮助人们感受到你在说的过程。今天我们深入阐述了。被困扰、棍子这些概念。当然——难怪你不想谈睡眠和恢复。那当然重要。我听你说过"是的,我睡觉,我吃饭,我补水,我拉伸"。但那变成了病毒式传播的信息。那不是你独特的信息。任何人都能谈那些。所以我理解对了吗——你承认睡眠和恢复很重要,但那不是你的核心?你必须放弃一些东西。
But yeah, I think certain things over time, I feel like talent or gifts or whatever you want to call them. But there are many things that are exceedingly difficult for me, and I have learned from your example. I know that you are very both humble and very clear that, like, you don't have, you say, I don't, you're not going to get it by examining you. But I think the way you're sharing today and the way you've shared on other podcasts before, there are pieces that really help people feel into the process of what you're talking about. Today we're elaborating on it. I think a lot, you know, this notion being haunted and the stick. Right, I mean of course. Of course now it makes so much sense why you don't want to talk about sleep or rest or recovery, cuz that's, sure that's important. I've heard you say, yes, you sleep, yes, you eat, yes, you hydrate, yes, you will stretch your psoas or what. But it's funny how that becomes the viral message. That's why I said that today. But that's not the unique, that's not the unique message that you carry. Like anyone can talk about that. So do I have that right, that you're acknowledging sleep is important, recovery is important, but that's not what you're about? You have to forgo something.
我后来意识到所有这些东西都很重要。但要我不再口吃——我必须建立自信。语言治疗没用。什么都没用。我必须放弃很多东西来建立自信。让我能站在 10,000 人面前而不低头、不想跑——带着口吃那是一种悲惨的生活。
这只是我必须克服的众多事情之一——除了说谎、不安全感、不成熟、肥胖、是学校里为数不多的黑人孩子之一。我必须克服很多事情来获得自信。在这个过程中很多东西必须被放弃。所以我变成了那个再次被误解的人——"你一天只睡四小时?两小时?有时候不睡?"
我知道那些都很重要。但必须有东西被牺牲,我才能获得自信。因为自信是我要去的地方的基石。为了获得自信,这个糟糕的孩子必须做大量糟糕的事。在这个过程中口吃消失了,我获得了自信。现在我的生活稍微——没有平衡,永远没有平衡——但稍微更接近大多数人应有的样子。但永远不会平衡。因为自信和信念是你每天都在建造的东西。
必须有东西被牺牲。我愿意放弃很多东西来保住那个。因为如果你想夺走某人的氪石——就夺走那个。所以是的,我有时候不睡觉,有时候不吃对,有时候不做这不做那。但你把我放进一个 10,000 人的房间,任何时候,我走进去就觉得我是这里最狠的人。因为我知道站上这个台需要什么。很多人不会去做。这就是代价。
And I realized, as I got older, that all these things are important. But for me to stop stuttering, I got to build confidence. And speech therapy didn't help that. Nothing helped that. I have to forgo a lot of shit to be as fucked up as I am, to build confidence. For me to stand in the room of 10,000 or one person and not, and be like, oh, put my head down, let me look around, let me read these paragraphs first, and then before I read the paragraphs cuz they call me next, let me just leave the room. Kind of with a stutter, that's a miserable life.
And that's one of many things I did, besides lying, besides being insecure, besides being immature, besides being fat, besides being one of the only black kids in my school. There are a lot of things I had to overcome to gain confidence. And in doing so, a lot of that had to go. A lot of it. So I became the guy that became, once again, misunderstood. You only sleep four hours a day, two hours a day, sometimes you don't sleep at all, like, what's this and what's this and what's this.
I know it's all important. I can't. Something's got to go for me to get confidence. Because confidence is the building block of where I'm trying to go. For me to gain confidence in myself, this fucked up kid has got to do a lot of fucked up shit to gain confidence. And along the way the stutter went away and I gained confidence and now my life is a little bit more, there's no balance, there's no balance. It's a little bit more what it should be for a lot of people, but there'll never be balance. Because confidence is something that you constantly, confidence and belief, you're building every day.
And so something's got to give. And I'm willing to forgo a lot of things to have that, because I know that is, that is, if you want to give somebody Kryptonite, take that away from them. So yeah, I don't sleep sometimes, and sometimes I don't eat the right way, and sometimes I don't do this and do that and whatever, man. But you put me in a room with 10,000 people any time of the day and I walk in there, I think I'm the baddest motherfucker in here. Because I know what it took to be on this stage. And a lot of people will not do that. So that's what it takes.
但还有另一面。床上有一个温暖的身体,早上你不想起来。他们也有需求。你有你的使命。有时候人们需要我们的东西。而那些最爱我们的人——那些真正想支持我们的人——往往最不理解这个东西。他们是第一个跟你说"休息一天吧"的人。然后我脑子里整个循环就开始了——"你就是想度假"——几乎像偏执。我现在没在说自己好话。前女友会说"没错"。
所以身边人的支持至关重要。但刀是双刃的。它也可以是破坏你所谈论的这个东西的力量。因为关心我们的人也想看到我们舒服、快乐、平静。他们也有自己的需要。你怎么解开这一切?
But there's another side to all of that, right, that I'd like to learn more about from you. Which is, there's a warm body next to you in bed in the morning. You don't want to get up. They also have needs. You've got your mission. People sometimes need things from us. But also, oftentimes the people that love us most, that truly love us and that want to support us, don't understand this thing. And they're the first people to tell us like, listen, take a day off. And then this whole cycle, at least in my head, goes off, like, you just want a vacation. And then it's almost like a paranoia. I'm not saying anything nice about myself right now, right. Oh, good. Man, former girlfriend's gonna be like, yeah, like, you know, they remember.
And so, support of people close to you is critical. This could be friends, could be romantic partners, whatever. But they're also, the knife cuts both ways. It can be the thing that can really undermine this thing that you're talking about. Because the people that care about us also want to see us comfortable, right. They want to see us happy. They want to see us peaceful. They want to see us wake up from a great night's sleep. And they want things too, right. So how do you untangle that whole bit?
那些选择成为我家人的人,我给他们需要的一切,这样他们就可以让我一个人清净。我确保你开心得不得了——因为我得去工作。我不是说消防跳伞。不是说跑步。我是说全部。我不能让你干扰我。所以我知道——为了拥有家人,我得确保你明白我会给你所需要的一切。所以当你开始抱怨的时候,我会说"等等。我把一生都奉献给了给你所需要的一切。我需要这段时间来成为最好的自己。因为这段旅程一开始就没有任何人。"
我确保每个进入我生活的人都知道这一点。想想看——我从小就被丢下一个人去搞清楚一切。我自己搞定了,而且非常成功。没有人会来这里干扰我的东西。这就是为什么我确保会照顾你需要的一切。钱、房子、我的爱、我的支持。我给你一切。这样说的时候 Jennifer 就在隔壁房间——如果我说错了请进来纠正。我不在乎,有什么说什么。
所以当到了我工作的时候,我期望你对我做同样的事。因为做我必须做的事需要我的全部。我确保我对家人非常不平衡——这样我可以对自己同样不平衡。这就是我的做法。
我让人们从一开始就知道。我不是你想要的那种男人。我保证。会有很多深夜、很多清晨、很多我必须独处思考的时间。我不能有烦恼。但我让他们提前知道。我很坦率。有时候关系成功了,有时候没有。但这就是我。
我这辈子做错的一件事,就是花了太多年试图讨好别人,而且是以牺牲自己为代价。我一直在留有余力。当你这样做的时候,你就不再真正活着了。但你身边的人开心得很,因为你把他们想要的一切都给了他们。他们的生活是满的,而你却觉得空虚。对我来说,那不叫关系。
所以对我来说,重要的是你必须清楚地知道我是谁。因为这就是生活塑造出来的我,我不打算去改变它,因为我好不容易才搞明白自己是谁。所以我绝不会妥协David Goggins这个人。永远不会。这不意味着我不会给你你需要的、你想要的、你渴望的东西。但我不需要钱,不需要名气,什么都不需要,所以我全部给出去。我真正需要的,是确保意志力每一天、每一晚都在被锻炼,余生都是如此。因为那是唯一能让我持续给予你、让你待在该待的位置的东西。因为一旦那个意志力消失了,300磅的David Goggins——他可能看起来不像,但我会带着那个人走来走去。所以你生命中那些重要的事情,你必须永远去做,否则你什么都不是。这就是我处理关系的方式。
Those who are part of my family, I give them everything they need so they can leave me the fuck alone. I make sure you're happy as shit, because I gotta go to work. And I don't mean smoke jumping. I don't mean running. I mean all of it. It takes every, I can't have you in my shit. So I know, for me to have a family, I gotta make sure that you realize I'm gonna give you everything you need. So when you start bitching at me, I'm gonna say, look, hang on. I dedicated my life to give you everything you need. I need this time right here for me to be the best I can be. Because this journey started without anybody.
And I make sure everybody knows that who comes in my life. I've been left. Think about it. I was left alone at a young age to figure the shit out. I figured it out for myself and it's been very successful for myself. No one's going to come in here and fuck with my shit. That's why I make sure I will take care of whatever you need. Whatever you need from me, you got it. Money, house, my love, my support. I'm going to give you everything you need. That said, I do it the highest level possible. I'm saying with Jennifer in the next room, so please come here and say something if it's wrong, Jennifer. I don't give a fuck, say what you got to say.
So then when it's time for me to go to work, I expect you to do the same for me. Because it takes every bit of me to do what I have to do. So I make sure that I'm very unbalanced for my family so I can be exactly that unbalanced for myself. And that's how I do it.
I let people know right up front. I'm not what you want in a man. I guarantee that. There's gonna be a lot of late nights, a lot of early mornings, a lot of times where I gotta be by myself, thinking about the process that is next in my mind. I can't have aggravation, I can't have this, can't have that. There's a lot of things. But I let them know up front. I'm very vocal about that. Sometimes relationships work for me, sometimes they didn't. But that's who I am.
One thing I did wrong in my life was I tried for so many years to please people and I did it at the expense of myself. I was leaving a lot in the tank. And when you do that, you stop living. But the person in your life is happy as shit, cuz you're giving them everything they want. They have their, their life is full. But you feel empty. And that's not a relationship to me.
So for me it's important that you know exactly who I am. Because this is what life made, and I'm not trying to change it because I just figured it out. So I'm not trying to compromise David Goggins. I will never, ever compromise David Goggins. That doesn't mean I won't give you what you need and what you want and what you desire. But I don't need money, I don't need fame, I don't need, so I give it all away. What I do need is to make sure that willpower is worked on every day and every night for the rest of my life. Because that's the one thing that's gonna keep me feeding you, keeping you where you need to be. Because once that willpower is gone, 300 pound David Goggins, he may not look like it, but I will walk around with it. So the things that are important to you in life, you must do always, or you're nobody. And that's how I handle relationships.
这就是我曾经面临的问题。这也是我们很多人的问题。没有人知道真正的你是谁。没有人知道真正的我是谁。我上的学校里有很多黑人孩子。很多黑人孩子不想搞特种作战。我从来没有跟黑人孩子聊过特种作战。为什么?因为我在想,我不会融入的。那不是他们做的事。很多黑人孩子不搞那些。所以不管我想做什么,没有人真正了解成长中的我,因为我从来不想让任何人了解真正的我。我总是害怕你会说什么,或者你会怎么想之类的。
你有你的感受,你有你自己要过的人生。所以重要的是,你脑子里想的是什么,就让对方知道。这样你就给了他们选择权——跟你在一起,或者不跟你在一起。这就是我。如果你不喜欢,没事的,兄弟,我理解。但这就是David Goggins。所以那种坦诚的对话非常重要。这样每个人都知道自己的位置。那个人可能不适合你,那也没关系。
And that was the problem I had. That's a problem that a lot of us have in life. No one knows who you really are. No one knew who I really was. I went to a school where there were a lot of black kids. A lot of black kids didn't want to be in Special Ops. I never talked about Special Ops with black kids. Why? I was wondering, what, I'm not going to fit in. That's not what they do. A lot of black kids don't do that kind of shit. So whatever I wanted to do, no one really knew the real me growing up, because I never wanted anybody to know the real me. I was always afraid of what you might say or how you're going to feel or whatever.
You got feelings. You have a life that you have to live. So it's important that whatever is on your mind, you let that person know. Therefore you're giving them the option to be with you or not. This is who I am. If you don't like it, that's good, man. I got it. But this is David Goggins. So that honest conversation is very important, man. So everybody knows where they stand. That person may not be for you. That's all good.
对我来说,从我的出身走到今天,凭着我现在的履历,你知道你会获得什么样的自信。你要来评判我?你要评判我?你这辈子做过什么?所以我之所以这么坦诚、这么直接、这么真实,是因为我终于搞明白了自己是谁。同时也是因为征服了David Goggins内心的恶魔。所以现在你就是一本打开的书。你看着对面的人,直视他们的眼睛,告诉我你他妈到底是谁。你转身走了,没事,兄弟。我清楚地知道走到这里的这段旅程付出了什么。
这给了你一种火焰和激情。不管别人怎么叫你,不管你是同性恋、双性恋还是什么,随便他们怎么叫。如果你把自己扔进火里,每天都像这样焕然一新地走出来,不怕再走回去,来吧,兄弟。
你的真相是真实的。你每天走出来,和人交谈的方式是别人没有的,因为他们背后没有真相。而真相是一条起跑线。当你坐在那面丑陋的镜子前说,我是这样的,我是这样的,我是这样的——你的人生终于开始了。也许40岁了,也许40岁了,五六个孩子,有妻子。但当你看着那面镜子说,我是这样的,我是这样的——其实本质上是说,我不是这个,我不是那个,我做不到这个,我做不到那个,我满身都是不安全感。你的人生终于开始了。
一旦你开始那段人生,兄弟,真相就会大量涌出来。因为你不再在乎了。这就是问题所在。大多数人就是不想进行那样的对话,不想达到那个程度——能够站在一百万人面前说,我就是这些,然后说句今天过得不错,再见。
And for me, to come where I came from and how, the resume I have now, you know, the confidence you get. How, I don't care who you, gonna, you're gonna judge me? You're gonna judge me? What have you done in your life? So me being so honest and so upfront and so truthful, that came with me finally figuring out who I was. But also conquering David Goggins. The demons of David Goggins. Therefore now you're just an open book. You look at somebody, looking right in the eye, tell me exactly who the fuck you are. You walk away, I'm good, bro. I know exactly what this journey took to get here.
And that gives you a fire and a passion that people can call you, they can call you, if you're a lesbian or gay or bisexual, call what the fuck you want. If you put yourself in the fire and you come out every day like this, fresh, fuck it off, not scared to go back in there again, come on, man.
Your truth is real. You come out every day, man, with a way of talking to people that people don't have, because there's no truth behind them. And the truth is a starting line. When you sit down at the ugly mirror and say, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, you finally started your life. Maybe 40 years old. Maybe 40 years old, five, six kids, wife. But the second you look in that mirror and you say, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, I'm this, well, basically, I'm not this, I'm not this, I'm not this. I can't do this, I can't do this. I'm all these insecurities. Your life finally started.
And once you start that life, man, the truth comes out big time. Because you don't long care. So that's the problem. Most people just don't want to have that conversation, to the point where they can go on stage with a million people and say, I'm all this, and have a good day. See you.
但你以前在谈到海豹突击队的时候说过这个。我们都认识那个圈子里很多人,团队的部分对很多人来说是很重要的一环。那是件好事。但从外部获得的多巴胺冲击是有危险的——借用一个不太精确的说法。你说的是能够对自己说干得好,但也能回顾自己的过往说,我做过艰难的事,我可以一次又一次地做下去,因为我一直在做。你说的是自己养育自己、自己激励自己、自己吓唬自己,全部从内心出发。这和我们被培养的方式完全不同——我们被培养的方式是去弄到那块饼干。
But you've talked about this before in reference to the SEAL teams. We both know a lot of people in that community, and the teams component is a big part of it for a lot of people. And it's a wonderful thing, right. But there's a danger to that dopamine hit, for lack of a better way to put it, from what we could only derive when it's coming from outside. You're talking about being able to either say good job, but also like, just look to one's own personal history and say, I've done hard things and I can do it again and again, because I do it again and again and again. You're talking about parenting yourself, inspiring yourself, scaring yourself, all of that, from the inside. So very different than the way we're raised, which is to figure out how to get the biscuit.
我怎么能随时提取好的多巴胺?因为我99%的训练都是独自完成的。没有人拍我的背。所有的工作我都是一个人做的。虽然我对自己仍然很苛刻,但我知道自己做了什么。所以每当情况变糟的时候——人们喊的那些"谁来扛船扛木头",那是真的。我讨厌人们只因为那个形象认识我,因为那不是每天的我。他们看到我的时候想要那个能量,但那不是我每天的状态。
我能在需要的时候立刻把它提取出来,因为当你独自训练,独自生活了那么多年,在那种痛苦中,你能靠自己走出来的时候,我可以把自己带到一个真正的、真实的激情和使命感的高度。我获得的那种感觉是我无法用语言解释的,完全靠我自己。我不需要任何人。所以人们来找我寻求激励,但没有人能激励我。我有一份满满的激励履历,每当我低落的时候——等等,你知道真相的。你知道地牢有多黑暗,恶魔在飞。你知道。然后从那里开始——好吧,你去过那里,你知道这些。当时没有人帮你扛背包、扛船、扛木头、下水。是你自己。是你自己。
300磅的时候没有人拍你的背,275磅的时候没有,250磅、220磅的时候都没有。没有。那是你自己。所以那些从我内心深处、从黑暗中迸发出来的东西——人们在找那个拍背的鼓励。在哪儿呢?我不需要。因为我在那些看不见的工作中,打造了一个Frankenstein。所以每当事情变得难以承受,David Goggins就会说:反正你从来就没有人。你看,我现在就在跟自己对话。那就是我。这让我他妈的热血沸腾。这让我疯狂。反正你从来就没有人。看看你周围,没有团队。只有你自己。
没有什么减肥计划,也没有爸妈叫你起床说你可以的、你能变得更好、试图帮你建立信念。你在一无所有的时候建立了信念。谷底。是你自己做到的。所以当日子变得艰难,真相就会浮现。我的真相强大得不得了。它是真实的,是触手可及的。我能感受到它。当我说到这些的时候,它就从我的大脑里涌出来。我在重新经历人生中每一个黑暗的时刻,才能坐在这里。所以这就是人们不理解的地方。这就是激励David Goggins的东西——看不见的工作。
但每个人都需要别人拍拍背。他们需要训练伙伴。他们需要accountability教练。我不需要那些。其实他们也不需要。但那是我们训练自己去相信我们需要的东西。
How am I able to just extract dopamine, a good dopamine, for me, whenever I want, man? I've trained 99% of my life alone. No one patted me on the back. I did all of the work alone. And while I'm still hard on myself, I know what I did. So whenever times get bad for me, people, all this, who's going to carry the boats and logs, that's real. I hate that people know me for that guy, because that guy is not every day. Like when they see me, they want that energy. That's not me every day.
I can extract it immediately when I need to, because when you train alone and I lived alone for so many years in this misery and you're able to get out of it by yourself, I can take myself to such a level of real, real passion and purpose. And like, the feeling I get is something I can't even explain, by myself. I don't need anyone. That's why people come to me to motivate them. No one can motivate me. I have a resume full of motivation that whenever I'm down, like, oh, hang on. Oh, you know, you know the truth. You know the darkness of the dungeons and the demons that fly. You know. And then from there it's like, okay, you were there, you know this. There was no one there to pick up the rucksack, to pick up the boat, to pick up the log, to go in that water. It was you. It was you.
There was no pat on the back at 300, at 275, at 250, at 220. No. That was you. So those things that come out of me, that extract from me in the darkness, people are looking for that pat on the back. Where is it? Oh, I don't need it. Because what I've done is, in the unseen work, I built Frankenstein. So whenever shit gets nasty, David Goggins goes, you had nobody anyway. See, I'm talking to myself right now. That's me. That fires me the fuck up. That makes me nuts. You had nobody anyway. Look around you. There was no team. It was you.
There was no weight loss program or mom and dad waking you up saying, you can do it, you can be better, trying to build belief. You built belief when you had nothing. Rock bottom. You did that. So as times get hard for me, the truth comes out. And my truth is powerful as shit. It's real. It's tangible. I feel it. It comes out of my brain as I speak about it. I'm reliving every single dark moment of my life to be here. So that is what people don't get. That is what motivates David Goggins, is the unseen work.
But everybody needs that pat on the back. They need that training partner. They need that accountability coach. I don't need that. And neither do they. But it's what we've trained ourselves to believe that we need.
我只需要翻转一下大脑,把手指伸进去说,好,这个不错。就这么简单。我有一整个目录——去他妈的Goggins——但你赢过了,今天就用这个吧。我什么都不需要。这就是人们不理解David Goggins的地方。我没法在一分钟的视频里教会你。
我们每个人都有能力拥有自己的药柜。但除非你走进去把药放进去,否则它永远是空的。你永远需要pre-workout。你永远需要——我不喝咖啡,不摄入咖啡因,什么都不用。我不需要——我可以连续跑70个小时,我确实这么干过,零咖啡因。我有所有这些我独自一人、在黑暗中克服的了不起的经历。
这些东西,兄弟,当天冷的时候,我是热的。当天热的时候——我可以随时给自己充能。所以当人们说,兄弟,你怎么什么都不缺?我没法向你解释。没法解释。你永远不会理解。所以我才不到处上播客。我有——我爱你,兄弟。所以你第一本书的时候,你帮我写了推荐语。所以我才来这里。我爱你在为人们做的事。
但我没法解释这个。我没法解释,因为人们不愿意做这个。他们不愿意做这个。但这就是——我不知道,兄弟。光是谈论这些我就热血沸腾了。因为太多人觉得我的生活就是——天哪,他的人生太可怕了。别关注他,他疯了。
All I gotta do is flip my brain, put my finger in there and say, okay, that's a good one. It's all I got to do, man. I got the rolodex of just like, go fuck yourself, Goggins, and, oh, but you won, let's do that one today. There's nothing I need. And this is the thing that people don't get about David Goggins. I can't teach it in a one minute video.
We all have this ability to have our own medicine cabinet. But unless you go in there and put the medicine in there, it's always going to be fucking empty, man. You're always going to need the pre-workout. You're going to need, I don't drink coffee. I don't do caffeine. I don't do none of that. I don't need, I can run for 70 hours and I have before, no caffeine. I got all this wonderful shit that I overcame on my own, by myself, in the darkness.
That, man, when it's cold, I'm hot. When it's hot, like, I can feed myself all the time. And that's why when people say, man, why aren't you missing anything? I can't explain it to you, man. Can't explain it to you. You'll never understand. That's why I don't do all these podcasts, dude. I got, I love you, man. That's why, your first book, you did a blurb for me. That's why I'm here. I love what you're doing for people, man.
But I can't explain this. I can't explain this because people don't want to do this. They don't want to do this, man. But it's, I don't know, man. I get jazzed up even talking about it, man. Because so many people think my life is just so, oh God, his life is horrible. Like, don't follow him, he's crazy.
我最大的恐惧是变得安逸。我没有像你那么强的棍子驱动模式,但今天的对话正在改变我的思维方式。我不会走出这里之后想,好,有25个神经回路可以解释David说的10件事。我想的是一个事实:每个人都有大脑。他们有心智——忘掉大脑吧,大脑只是物理结构,而它创造出来的是心智。每个人都有。
所以我确实相信每个人都有能力在某种程度上做到你说的这些。同时我也是第一个承认的人——我觉得你是非常罕见的。我们在科学里说N=1,样本量为一。一个为自己创造了这套过程、让自己持续前倾、同时棍子一直在后脑勺敲打的人。极其罕见。
但你说的这个内在药柜——建立真正的自信,不需要外界任何东西——我愿意相信人们是想要这个的。他们想被了解。他们害怕。但他们想让别人知道真正的自己是谁。你在描述通往这一切的路径。我要说的是,我非常感激你今天以这种方式跟我们分享。你之前也谈过这些东西,但今天的角度有所不同。我愿意认为是非常不同。
因为你说的是一个过程。是动词。全是动词。全是行动。而且不是关于成功。更多是关于把那个摩擦力保持在10级。不需要能量饮料,不需要补剂。人们经常误解我——他们觉得,你知道,我很重视人们早上晒太阳来调节昼夜节律从而改善睡眠之类的。但人们总是直奔补剂。我该吃什么?然后人们以为我就是搞补剂的。补剂对我来说只是一小块,跟实际行动比起来微不足道。做什么和不做什么才是关键。
My biggest fear is getting comfortable, right. I do not have as much of a stick-oriented approach, but today's conversation, changing the way I think. I'm not going to step away from this and think, okay, there are 25 neural circuits that can explain 10 of the things that David's talking about. And what I'm thinking about is the fact that everybody has a brain. They have a mind, forget the brain, the brain is just the physical structure, but what that manifests, what that creates, is the mind. And everybody has that.
So I do believe that everyone has the capacity to do what you're talking about, at some level. I also will be the first to confess that I think you are highly unusual. Let's just say, maybe even N of one, as we say in science, sample size of one, right. Somebody who has created this process for themselves and keeps themselves in this forward-centered mass with the stick battering the back of their head all the time, right. Highly unusual.
But this internal medicine cabinet that you're talking about, building up true confidence, not needing anything from the outside, I think, I like to think, that people want that. They want to be known. They're afraid. But that they want to be known for who they really are. And that you're describing the path to do this, right. And I will say I'm immensely grateful that you're talking to us this way today about things that you've talked about before but we're hidden in a little differently. I like to think very different.
Because what you're talking about is a process. It's verbs. It's all verbs. All action. And it's not about success. It's more actually about keeping that friction dialed to 10, right. And that, no energy drink, no supplement. People often misunderstand me, they think, you know, like, I'm big on people getting sunlight in the morning so they can set their circadian rhythm and get better sleep so they can, etc. But then people always think, they go straight to the supplements. Yeah, what should I take? You know, and then of course people think I'm all about supplements and supplements are one piece for me but it's like a tiny fraction compared to the doing. The dos and don'ts.
太多人在做那些事——补剂啊这个那个的。我同意,有帮助。但一旦你搞懂了你的大脑,你就能面对几乎任何事。是的,你打不过死亡,打不过什么什么。但你的大脑是惊人的——一旦你喂给它正确的对话、正确的心理营养、正确的心理补剂、正确的内在对话,在正确的时机、用正确的力度、带着你过去做过的事的正确证据,把这些发送到正确的回路。兄弟,你就是一头猛兽。猛兽。
但话说回来,你不能光靠读书。你不能坐在那里做理论家。你必须做一个实践者。而在那个实践中,你才能得到确凿的证明。我说的这些,就像——天哪,David Goggins,他颠覆了我的认知,这是什么?他没有疯。很多人,确实很多人,以正确的方式听了我说的话,他们回来说,我完全理解了。它发生了。它发生了。我说,如果你继续做下去,它会一直持续下去的。但就是这样。没有标志。
没有荣耀。没有胡萝卜。没有胜利。但这一切又全在其中。我没法很好地向人们解释。但你在另一端得到的东西是——你永远被找到了。你再也不会迷失了。这不意味着旅程变得容易。永远不会变容易。但你永远被找到了。
And so many people are doing exactly that, the supplements, the this, the that. And I agree, it helps. But once you figure out your brain, you become unstoppable to almost anything. Yeah, you can't beat death, you can't, whatever, whatever. Your brain is amazing once you feed it the right conversation, the right mental nutrients, the right mental supplements, the right internal dialogue at the right time, with the right hit, with the right proof of what you've done in the past, and you send that right to the right circuit. Dude, you're a beast. A beast.
But once again, you just can't read about it. You can't sit back and be a theorist. You have to be a practitioner. And in that practice is where that becomes proof positive. What I'm saying is like, God, like, David Goggins, he's blowing my mind, what is this? He's not crazy. And so many people, a lot of people, have listened to me the right way and they come back and they're like, I'm totally on board. It happened. It happened. I'm like, it'll keep going, man, if you keep doing it. But that is it, man. There's no sign.
There's no glory. There's no carrot. There's no victory. But there is all of it in one. I can't explain it real well to people, man. But what you get on the other end is something that you're not, you're always found. You're never lost anymore. Doesn't mean the journey's easy. Doesn't get any easier. But you're always found.
找到自己、真正知道自己是谁的这件事——有点像:我是安全的,因为我处于危险之中,我以前也处于危险中,而且我把自己救了出来。这似乎总是回到动词上。我不知道该怎么用语言表达。难得地,我一时语塞了。这是关于一个过程。一个算法。而我试着确认我理解得对不对——你之所以在公众面前做真实的自己会不舒服,一个原因是人们只想关注跑步或者脏话。
顺便说一下,脏话完全没问题。我告诉你,我在实验室里成长,我跟过的三个人都喜欢骂脏话。但有一个规矩:不能骂人。我的博士导师,一个杰出的女性,不幸很早就去世了——他们都走得早,我是那个共同因素。这件事我内化了很长时间。总之她说过,如果你骂人,你就出局。但你想骂多少脏话都行。所以我的规矩就是这样:你想骂多少脏话都行,只是不要骂人。如果你骂人,你最好准备好打架。我肯定不会跟你打,所以你骂我也没事,你能全身而退。
但事实是,人们不理解你这件事一定让你很沮丧——因为我知道,人们会说,什么补剂啊冰浴啊。听着,我喜欢补剂,我爱补剂和冰浴。但那不是全貌。有一种引力。是脏话,是跑步,是他那双毁掉的脚,是他拿了三叉戟(Trident),是的,这个海豹突击队的人,是的,再聊聊这个——你知道的。有一种引力把人们拉向这些表面的东西,而他们错过了——我今天才意识到,那只是冰山一角。多亏了你今天表达的方式。因为更大的容器全在这里面。而就像你说的,你怎么把这些写进一本书?不可能,因为这高度个人化。你用你自己的方式做。
The business of finding yourself and knowing, like, but it's sort of like, I'm safe because I'm in danger and I've been in danger before and I got myself out. It always seems to come back to verbs again. I don't have a language for this. You know, for once I'm lost for words. There's like, it's about a process. The algorithm. And the reason, here I'm just kind of trying to make sure I'm understanding things correctly, one of the reasons why it must be uncomfortable for you to be who you are publicly is because people want to focus on the running or the swearing.
And by the way, the swearing is welcome. I'll tell you, I came up through laboratories where all three people I worked for swore a lot. But there was one rule, I couldn't swear at people. So my graduate adviser, brilliant woman, unfortunately she died early, they all died early, I'm the common denominator. I had that internalized for a long time. Anyway, she said, but if you swear at people, you're out, right. But you can swear as much as you want. So that's the rule I have. It's like, you can swear as much as you want, just don't swear at people. If you swear at people, better be ready to fight. Definitely not going to fight you, so you can swear at me, get away with it.
But the fact of the matter is that it must be frustrating that people, cuz I know, people go, oh, it's all about supplements and ice baths. Listen, I like supplements. I love supplements and ice baths. But that's not the full picture. There's just a gravitational pull. It's the swearing, it's the running, it's his feet that are all messed up, it's the fact that he got a Trident, yeah, this SEAL guy, yeah, talk about that too, right, you know. And there's a gravitational pull for people, and they're missing like, that's the tip of the iceberg is what I'm realizing. I'm realizing that today thanks to the way you're phrasing things, because the bigger vessel is all in here. And as you said, how do you put that in a book? It's impossible because it's highly individual. You do it your way.
人们不相信。所以当我说话的时候,那些shit和fuck——那就是我经历过的、正在经历的。那种愤怒、激情、令人震惊的——必须那样,因为我原本不是那样的人。我是这么看的。
是什么造就了这个人?想象一下你能忍受的最冷的水。我总是回到Hell Week来说这个。我恨水。恨透了。你坐在那里,胳膊挽着胳膊,你一直在水里,他们把你拉进拉出,拉进拉出。当你脑子里有这些对话,而这些人竟然根据一个一分钟的视频来评判我。你的一辈子,当你在24岁搞明白了——我必须做这个,这就是会很痛苦。
每一天都会很痛苦。就这样活着去变得更好。我这么说吧:我在水里。水没过了我的头。太平洋。冰冷刺骨。二月份。冷得要命。经历了三次Hell Week。当那边的声音——真正的你——在说:滚出去吧。走吧。你什么都不是。你一直什么都不是。而且这是真的。人们没听到这个。这是一个真实的声音。这是24岁的David Goggins的真实现实。不是虚假的现实。
然后你必须在另一边创造一个声音,这个声音说:你比那个声音更强。而你正泡在冰冷的水里,两个声音都不想待在这儿。但你赢了。
从水里到学习,到跑步,到减肥,到怎么吃,到怎么做人。你生命中的每一天都在赢得这些战斗。然后我面对的是那些普通人,他们只有一个声音。从来没有创造过第二个声音。赢的那个声音是第二个声音。他们只有一个声音。而那个声音就是:我是一坨屎。他们听到的就是这个。
然后他们来评判像我这样在外面努力变好的人。这是一件让我永远无法释怀的、令人沮丧的事。因为我了解大多数人。我知道他们脑子里在想什么,因为我研究心智的时间几乎比你还多——因为我不是理论家,我是实践者。所以对于一个曾经的废物来说,要走出来,你不是简简单单就走出来的。你花了几十年研究自己的心智和人类心智——它在好的环境、坏的环境、高压环境、需要耐心的环境中是如何运作的。你研究了所有这些,因为你必须把所有这些拼在一起才能创造出成功所需的心智。
所以就像上帝赐给了我这个大脑,我必须创造一个心智。在这个过程中,我搞懂了世界上每一个废物——因为那就是我用来审视自己的出发点。所以我知道你为什么刷Instagram。我知道为什么——因为你就是有那个时间。你有那个时间是因为你不愿意把时间投入到提升自己上。
所以我知道我为什么被误解。误解我的人有大把时间来误解我,因为他们就是曾经的我。一个卑微的、懒惰的废物。这不是什么课后教育片段,这是事实。我曾经就是那样。我知道这一切从何而来。所以现在这件事让我沮丧。我沮丧的不是被人喷这个事实本身——不幸的是,让我沮丧的是你没有勇气去努力成为比现在更好的人。这才是让我沮丧的部分。
And people don't believe it. So when I speak, the shit and the fuck and the and the and the, that is what it took for me, what it takes for me. The anger, the passion, the jawdropping, just, it takes that, because I'm not that. This is how I look at it, man.
What built this guy? Let's imagine being in the coldest water you can possibly take. I always go back to Hell Week with this. I hated the water. Hated it. You're sitting there, locked arms, and you're in the water all the time, and they're bringing you in and out of the water, in and out of the water. When you have this dialogue in your head, and these people are judging me off of a freaking one minute video. And you're constantly, your whole life, when you figured it out at 24, I gotta, I just gotta do this, gotta, and this is just gonna suck.
Every day is gonna suck. And live like that to be better. And I put it this way: I'm in the water. The water's going over my head. The Pacific Ocean. You know, it's freezing. February. Cold as shit. Been through three Hell Weeks. For you to constantly win, win, win, when this voice over here, the real you, is saying, get the fuck out of here. Go. You're nobody. You've always been nobody. And it's true. People don't hear that. That's a true voice. That's the real reality of David Goggins at 24 years old. It's not a false reality.
And then you had to create another voice over here that is saying, you're better than that other voice. And you're in the freezing cold water that both voices don't want to be in. But you win.
And it goes from the water to the studying to the running to the losing weight to how you eat to how you function as a man. Every day of your life you're winning these battles. And then I have normal people who only have one voice. Never created the second voice. The winning voice is the second voice. They have one voice. And that's just, I'm a piece of shit. That's all they hear.
And then they judge people like me who are out here trying to be better. It's something that I can never really, it's a frustrating thing for me. Because I know, I know the majority of people. I know what goes on in their brain, because I studied the mind more than almost more than you, because I wasn't, I'm a practitioner. So for you to be a piece of shit and come out of that, you don't just come out of it. You spend decades studying your mind and the human mind on how it functions in good environments, bad environments, stressful environments, patient environments. You studied all, because you have to put all this together to create the mind to become successful.
So I had to, it's like God blessed me with this brain, I had to create a mind. And so in doing so, I figured out every piece of shit human being in the world, because that's what I was going off of for myself. So I know why you go on Instagram. I know why, because you just have the time. You have the time because you don't want to put that time into bettering oneself.
So I know why I'm misunderstood. I'm misunderstood by people who have plenty of time on their hands to misunderstand me, because they are exactly where I once was. Which is a low-life, lazy, piece of shit. And it's the harsh reality of people who troll you, who go after you. They have nothing better to do with their lives. It's not some after school special, it's the truth. I once was that way. I know where it all comes from. That's why it's frustrating to me now. Because I'm not so frustrated at the fact that I'm being trolled, unfortunately, about the fact that you don't have the courage to try to be somebody better than which you're not. And that's the frustrating part.
在某种程度上,你似乎也把大众纳入了那个家庭。你在说:听着,我会给你你需要的。我会尽可能多地给出自己,但我会在那条线上停下——如果我越过那条线,就会阻止我继续建设自己。顺便说一下,这段关系之所以存在,恰恰是因为我没有越过那条线。
我觉得,尽管外面有批评者或者哭喊的人——说实话,他们做的事在我看来相当无力。就像打火帽枪一样。太多的人,无论男女老少,都听到了你的信息并且有所感触。
是的,看起来有点疯狂,天哪,他就不能放松一下吗?他的睡眠怎么样?看看他的脚,他会受伤的。我听过——说直接点——我有在部队里待过的朋友,他们说,等他不能跑了怎么办?我知道答案是继续跑。
In some ways it seems you've also included the general public in that family. You're saying, listen, I'm going to give you what you need. I'm gonna give you as much of myself as I can, except I'm going to stop right at the line that, if I were to cross it, is going to prevent me from continuing to build myself. And by the way, this relationship only exists because I don't cross that line.
And I think, as much as there are detractors out there, or people that cry, right, I mean, it's pretty, whatever they're doing is pretty feeble in my mind. I mean, it's like cap gun fire, you know. Very few, you know, so many of us, men and women, old and young, hear something and feel something in your message.
Well, like, yeah, like, it seems kind of crazy, gosh, like, doesn't he ever just relax? You know, what about his sleep? You know, look at his feet, he's going to injure himself. I've heard, listen, I'll be very direct, I got friends who were in the teams who just go, yeah, what's he going to do when he can't run? And I know the answer is keep running.
这里面没有什么跑步,兄弟。一点都没有。一切都是关于这个。他们搞丢了重点。如果你不能跑了,那又怎样。从来就不是关于跑步。你以为我为什么跑步?那是我最讨厌做的事。这就是意志力的意义,对吧。如果你热爱跑步,你的aMCC就会开始萎缩。
想想看。我每天醒来,不是只跑一两英里。跑步是我最讨厌做的事,而我像热爱它一样去做。一次250、260、270、300英里。不睡觉。每一步——想想这个——我站在起跑线上就在对Jennifer骂脏话。我他妈为什么在这儿?我恨这破玩意。
跑了70多个小时之后,我曾经有过的每一个问题都有了答案。每一个问题都有了答案。我给成功设限。人们说,你什么意思你给成功设限?
There's no running up here, bro. None. This was what it was all about. That's what they've lost. If you can't run, give a shit. It was never about running. Why do you think I run? It's the worst thing I, I hate doing it more than anything. Hence the willpower, right. Your anterior mid-cingulate cortex would start to regress if you loved running.
Think about it. Every day I wake up, I don't just run a mile, two miles. It's the one thing I hate the most to do, and I do it like I love it. 250, 260, 270, 300 mile runs at one time. No sleep. And every step, when I get to, think about this, I get to the start line cussing at Jennifer. Why the fuck am I here? I hate this shit.
After 70-some hours of running, every question I ever had is answered. Every question I had is answered. I cap success. I don't, people go, what do you mean you cap success?
所以我每年夏天损失数百万美元去做这个。人们觉得不可思议。你为什么要这样做?你吸着有害的烟,膝盖伤着,落地的时候疼,各种各样的。跟普通人说他们永远理解不了。所以我根本不跟他们解释。
但这就是原因——这就是为什么我说给成功设限。我说的是经济上的成功。为了维持那个意志力,一旦我只是变成一个到处巡回的演讲猴子,一年12个月做演讲、办训练营、搞讲座、开补剂产品线、写更多的书——我就毁掉了我一辈子在打造的那个东西。
虽然直到今天我才把它说明白,但有什么东西一直在告诉我,这是一个非常、非常、非常易逝的技能。这个意志力——因为我确实拥有一种我从来没有在任何人身上见过的意志力。我的人生是一种不断追赶我的haunting的力量,我知道那是我的优势。如果你拥有这个——所以这比我这辈子赚过的每一分钱都值得。就是我能终于直视一个人的眼睛,进行一场真正的对话,而不是这样——因为我在撒谎,或者我是个废物,或者我知道——你知道有多少人是这样的吗?那么多人在跟你说话的时候,说的是他们想成为的那个人。他们在对你撒谎。然后转身离开。我以前做过太多次了。你走开后心想,天哪,我为什么不能告诉他们真相?我到底怎么才能告诉他们真相?
你知道现在我看着你的眼睛,看着我遇到的每个男人和女人的时候,那种感觉有多好吗?因为女人可能不太理解这个。女人可能不太理解。男人对男人,那种——兄弟,你看着另一个男人的眼睛,你知道你说的每一句话都是真的,都来自一个真正付出过的地方。那是你挣来的。那是世界上最好的感觉。
你可以说,那确实发生了。我确定无疑地知道我说的确实发生了。确实发生了。我是谁、我说我是谁,我就是谁。不再有谎言。不再闪烁其词。不再了。这比我这辈子赚过的每一分钱都值得。我对天发誓。我这辈子赚过的每一分钱,都比不上建造出我所建造的自己。
所以我给成功设限,因为我知道如果我一年12个月都在外面跑——虽然我每天都在努力,但如果不拿出一年中的好几个月回归原点,我就会直接退回起点。那就意味着我只是David Goggins。没有Goggins。没有扛船扛木头。就是拿起Pulaski开始挖。嘿,拿上那个泵,走一英里,放到水里。蚊子在咬你。你就是David Goggins。你什么都不是。因为那才是我成长的地方。那才是我意志力的来源。那才是它保持不褪色的地方。所以我跟你说话的时候,才能像这样说话。人们没法用这种激情说话,因为它不存在。它不存在。
他们在反刍30年前的东西。我在反刍一小时前的东西。一小时前。来吧,兄弟。就做真实的自己。我没法上这些播客。我没法跟任何人说话而不做真实的自己。否则我就会消失。我会消失。因为我没法给你我想给你的东西。
So I lose millions of dollars every summer to do this. It blows people's minds. Why the hell are you doing this? And you're breathing shit, I'm breathing shit, knees are jacked up, hitting the ground, hurting, whatever. Talking to normal people, they never get it. So I don't even explain it to them.
But this is why, this is why I call it cap success. I'm talking financial success. For me to continue having that willpower, the second I just become a speaking monkey and travel around and speaking gigs 12 months out of the year, put camps on, do this, put on lectures, get supplement lines and do this and write more books, and I've ruined the exact thing I worked on my entire life.
And while I didn't know it until today, but something always told me, this is a very, very, very perishable skill. This willpower that you have, cuz I do have a willpower that I have never seen in anybody. My life is a haunting force that just keeps me going, and I know that that is my strength. If you have that, so that's worth every dime I've ever made in my life, is the fact that I can look a man in the eye finally and have a real conversation without going like this because I'm lying, or I'm a piece of shit, or I know who, you know how a person, so many people do this, they're talking to you on who they want to be. They're lying to you. And they walk away. I've done that so many times. You walk away like, God, man, why can't I just tell them the truth? How the hell can I just tell him the truth?
You know how good it feels for me now to look at you in your eye, and every man and woman I see? Because women won't get this. Women will not get this. Man to man, that, man, you look in another man in the eye and you know that everything you're saying is real, and it comes from a real working place. Something that you earned. It's the best feeling in the world.
You can say that actually happened. Like, I know with certainty what I'm saying actually happened. Actually happened. Who I am and who I say I am, I am. No more lies. No more skirting the truth. No more. And that is worth every dime I've ever made in my life. And I swear to God on that. Every dime I've ever made in my life, building who I built.
So I cap success because I know that if I ever go 12 months out of the year and don't put several, every day I'm going at it, but several months out of the year, I go right back to ground zero. Which means I'm just David Goggins. No Goggins. No carry boats, logs. It's just pick up that Pulaski and dig. Hey, get that pump, walk down a mile, put it in the water. Mosquitoes beating. You're just David Goggins. You're nobody. Because that's where my growth is. That's where my willpower comes from. And that's where it stays. That's why I talk to you, and then can talk like this, dude. People don't talk with this kind of passion because it ain't there. It ain't there.
They're regurgitating some shit from 30 years ago. I'm regurgitating shit from an hour ago. Hour ago. Come on, man. It's just, be real. And I can't be on these podcasts. I can't talk to anybody without being real. I'll go away. I'll go away. Because I can't give you what I want to give you.
那些只留在脑子里的东西,人们会带着它们死去。它不会去到任何地方。我很久以前,有人说过——一个神经科学家——他说,大多数情绪,就只是情绪。它们就在那里。你不用对它们做什么。我觉得有些情绪你确实应该用它做点什么。但人们忘了这一点。他们觉得痛苦,觉得自己要溶化在自己的泪水里。但从来没有人因为一种情绪而死。但情绪让我们觉得它像海啸一样要把我们卷走淹死。
这对我来说非常有意思,因为我觉得——听着,你有一种引力。人们能感受到你的能量。我觉得,是的,你要么被完全误解,要么被严重误解,要么被部分误解。这个星球上只有一个人真正理解你。我觉得有一个女人,Jennifer,大概是除你以外最了解你的人。剩下的人都在努力摸索、试图理解。但你说的是向内看。所以先向内看,然后是行动。向内,然后行动。
关于向内这一部分,我想稍微多聊一下。因为历史上有一些人物——在集中营里的人,Nelson Mandela——我很确定他在里面没有Instagram。我确信没有。我也不觉得有人在指导他说,嘿,你会出去的,而且你会领导整个国家。我很确定不是那样。他必须在这里找到答案。他必须在两只耳朵之间找到答案。还有其他例子,但这是一个重要的。
所以向内探索的过程——对你来说——这里我要请教一下建议了,因为我觉得人们想要——我们当中有人想要建立这个技能。把自己隔绝起来?手机关掉?
And the stuff that just stays in here, people die with that. It doesn't go anywhere. I long ago, somebody said, you know, I forget what the context was, it was a neuroscientist, he said, you know, most emotions, like, they're just emotions. They're just in there. Like, you don't have to do anything with them. And I think certain emotions you want to do something with, right. But I think people forget this. They feel miserable, like they're going to dissolve into a puddle of their own tears. No one ever died from an emotion, right. But they feel like they overwhelm us, as if it's a tidal wave, it's going to pull us under and drown us.
It's so interesting to me because I think what people, listen, you have a gravitational pull. People can feel the energy. I think, yes, you're either completely, badly, or partially understood. There's only one guy on the planet that truly understands you. I think there's one woman, Jennifer, who probably understands you as much as anyone's going to. And then the rest of us are kind of grasping, trying to figure it out, right. But you're saying go inward. So first go inward and then it's actions. Inward and actions.
Now the inward piece is something I'd like to just spend a little bit of time on. Because there are a couple characters from history, people that were in concentration camps, Nelson Mandela, I mean, I'm not sure he had Instagram in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't, right. And I don't think there was anyone coaching him on like, hey, you're going to get out someday and actually you're going to lead an entire country. I'm pretty sure that's not how it worked. He had to find it here. He had to find it between his ears, right. And there are other examples, but that's an important one.
So the process of going inward, does it, for you, and here I will ask for suggestions, cuz I think people want, there are those of us who want to build this skill, right. Wall yourself off? Phone off?
把自己隔绝开来。当你在那里面的时候,你说只有你自己,冒出来的声音不是什么好声音。然后在某个时刻它转化为行动。好,多大程度上——选择行动的过程是什么?这是我觉得需要搭建的一座桥梁。如果可以的话。
You know, cutting oneself off. When you're in there you say it's just you, and the voices that come up are not pleasant. And then at some point it converts to action. Okay, how much, what is the process of picking the action? That's the piece that I feel like there's a bridge to build here. If you can, if you would.
所以每天在我脑子里,我都在翻阅自己的心智。一个好的画家不会只是画画,他需要创造。而你没法在手机和各种干扰中创造。所以你必须把自己隔绝开。你一年只做两个播客。你把自己隔绝开。你在内心画这幅画。你在翻阅各种不同颜色的颜料。而你只有花足够的时间在你的大脑里,才能找到正确的画。
所以每一天我都在用我的心智作画,创造这幅杰作。而这幅杰作永远是我自己。但要做到这一点,你不能有任何干扰。因为如果你在跟一个艺术家说话而他正在构思下一幅画,他做不到。不可能同时听你说话又听你的心智和身体在告诉你什么。
我们必须做——人们做得不够——他们根本不做。他们没有激情、缺乏热情、驱动力、决心,因为你没有花时间跟自己待在一起。你的心智会告诉你下一步是什么。但你没有花时间去说,好,让我把这件事想明白。你在找——让我Google一下这个、Google一下那个。你不会在那里找到答案。因为世界上有几十亿人,他们每个人都应该是独特的。但我们有从众心理。所以你才如此迷失。
为什么我这么独特?因为我在做我他妈本该成为的那个人。我什么都不跟从。而当我跟从别人的时候,我就跟所有人一样。从我说"好吧,兄弟,等一下,你不喜欢这个,不喜欢这个,不喜欢那个。你是谁,David Goggins?你应该成为什么样的人?"的那一刻起,奇迹般地,所有这些事情就——我甚至数不清要做的事——哗。就像——好吧,哇。
一旦你跟自己坐下来说,好,我不想成为Michael Jordan或Jim Brown——他们俩都跟我同一天生日——我看到他们的生日就想,天哪,也许我能成为其中一个。不,我不能。我要做David Goggins。那看起来是这样的。一切就涌来了。所有东西都涌来了。
所以我生命中的每一天,都有一件不同的事情浮现出来需要我去做。但没有人知道该做什么,因为其他人都在跟着步骤走。就像共和党和民主党。我不参与政治。
So every day in my mind I'm going through my mind. I'm just, and a good painter will not just paint, he needs to create. And you can't create with phones and everything going around you. So you gotta block yourself off. You only do two podcasts in the year. You block yourself off. And you're painting this thing inside. And you're going through all these different colors of paint and everything else. And you can only figure out the right painting if you spend the correct amount of time in your brain.
So every single day I'm literally going with my mind and I'm painting, I'm creating this masterpiece. And the masterpiece is always myself. But to do that, you cannot have any distractions. Because if you're talking to an artist and he's trying to think about the next painting, he can't. It's impossible to listen to you and listen to what your mind and body are telling you.
We must do, people don't do enough of, they don't do any of it. You're, they don't have passion, they lack passion, drive, determination, because you haven't spent time with yourself. Your mind will tell you what is next. But you haven't spent the time to go, all right, let me just figure this out. You're looking for, let me Google this and let me Google that. And let me, you're not going to find it there. Because there's billions of people in the world and they're all supposed to be individuals. But we have a pack mentality. That's why you're so lost.
Why am I so unique? I'm being exactly what the fuck I'm supposed to be. I ain't following shit. And when I did follow, I was like everybody else. The second I said, okay, man, hang on, dude, you don't like this, you don't like this, you don't like this. Who are you, David Goggins? Who are you supposed to be? Miraculously, all these things just, I couldn't even, the list of shit I had to do, just, wham. Like, okay, wow.
Once you sit down with yourself and say, okay, I don't want to be like Michael Jordan or Jim Brown, both born on my birthday, so I looked at their birthday like, oh, my, maybe I can be one. I can't. I'm going to be David Goggins. And that looks like this. It just came. Everything flooded.
So every single day of my life, there's a different thing that comes up that I have to do. But no one knows what to do because everybody else is following steps. Like the Republican and Democratic parties. I'm not political.
所以一旦你搞清楚了自己是谁,所有答案就来了。所以每天晚上都有一幅不同的画在被画出来。这幅美丽的画,对于我自己,我就说,好,就是它了。对大多数人来说可能看起来都一样。但最终结果是非常不同的。所以我的人生,如果你看我这49年做过的事情,比大多数人一辈子做的都多。因为他们是赛车手,那就是他们做的事。他们开赛车。很好。
我做过各种各样的事情,因为那正是那幅画告诉我要做的。心智告诉我要做的。当我这样说的时候——那个赛车手,你知道该做什么。他从赛车退役后就迷失了。你怎么还——我不明白,兄弟。你永远填不满你的清单。但你从来没有找到你的清单,因为它从来没有出现在你面前,因为你的脑子里塞满了杂物。因为你从来没有停下来很多分钟、很多年,只是说,好了,就我跟你了。放手让它来,然后——砰。它就在那里。就在那里。
So once you figure out yourself and who you are, all the answers come. So every night a different painting is being painted. And this beautiful painting, for myself, I'm like, okay, that's it. It may look the same to most. But the end result is very different. That's why my life, if you look at what I've done in 49 years, it's more than most people ever do in their life. Because they were a race car driver. That's what they did. They drove a car. It's great.
I was all kinds of shit because that's exactly what the painting was saying to do. What the mind was saying to do. When saying this, that race car driver, you know what the fuck to do. He retires from being a race car driver and they're lost. How, how are you still, I don't get it, dude. You're never going to fill your list. But you never found your list, because it never was presented in front of you, because your head was cluttered with shit. Because you never just stopped for lots of minutes, lots of years, and just said, all right, it's me and you. Let it go, and it just, bam. It's right there. It's right there.
但对话是双向的。你刚才说的时候突然击中了我。我在非常仔细地听。我意识到,David Goggins说的是那个冒出来的声音,包括那些没有人愿意从自己嘴里听到的关于自己的可怕的东西。但他同时也掌握了对话的另一面——他知道反驳的声音是什么。他说,是的,你说得对,所以我要做这个。或者,也许不对,记住这个。你在进行对话。一个双向的对话。
不是单向的喋喋不休。有著名心理学家写过关于"脑中喋喋不休"的书,试图改变你的内在叙事。你是说——把那个内在叙事带过来。向内看就是关于这个的。但不是一个声音。再说一次这是一个假说,我不是说我什么都懂,天知道我不是什么都懂。但你掌握了对话。如果里面有三个声音——强的、中的、弱的——你说的是,都坐下来。所以你里面有一个交响乐团的声音,全是你的,你知道是你的。你知道怎么进行那些对话。你不怕进行那些对话。
然后你知道那个委员会决定的结果是什么,你把它转化为现实世界中的行动。而世界只看到行动。就这些。只有你能知道你的内在对话,只有我能知道我的内在对话。而唯一"了解"它的方式就是花大量的时间待在那里面。
But dialogue is a two-way street. And it hit me while you were just saying what you were saying. I was paying very close attention. And I realized, David Goggins is talking about the voice that comes up, including the terrible stuff that no one wants to hear about themselves, from themselves. But then he's also got the dialogue down where he knows the counter voice, right. He goes, yeah, you're right, and so I'm going to do this. Or, maybe, no, remember this. You're in a dialogue. A two-way dialogue in there.
Not a one-way chatter dialogue. There are books written by famous psychologists about chatter, trying to shift your internal narrative. You're like, bring the internal narrative. That's what going inward is about. But it's not one voice. Again, there's a hypothesis, I'm not claiming to be all knowing, Lord knows I'm not all knowing. Okay. But you've mastered the dialogue. And if there are three voices, strong, medium, and weak in there, you're like, let's all come to the table. So you've got a symphony of voices in there that are all you, that you know to be you, right. And you know how to have those conversations. You're not afraid to be in those conversations.
And then you know what the outcome of that committee decision is, and you put it into real world action. And the world only sees the action. That's it. And only you can know your internal dialogue, and only I can know my internal dialogue. And the only way to quote unquote know it is to spend a hell of a lot of time there.
想想这个。我们教人们的是对自己好。你觉得如果我教自己温柔以待——我同意这个概念,天哪,太多人断章取义了,荒唐至极。爱怎么理解就怎么理解吧。
当我300磅的时候,你觉得对自己温柔以待会把我带到哪里?我告诉你。直接回到7-Eleven,再来一盒迷你巧克力甜甜圈和巧克力奶昔。那就是那一个声音。大多数人只有的那一个声音。你说的那个。
如果你脑子里没有另一个对话——你创造的另一个声音——那个说"好,这看起来怎么样?很难看"的声音。对我来说,那种温和的对话很早就消失了。这就是为什么现在你看到的对话——就是你看到的——大量行动。因为大多数人是不行动的,因为只有一个人在说话,而那个人总是把你引向同一条路。那条让你感到非常舒服和自我满足的路。
当你创造出另一个声音的时候,就有了冲突。有了战斗。有了战争。有了失败。我教会自己一件事——人们说我不理解你在说什么。我尽量快速解释一下。
我不是先教自己胜利。我先教自己失败。我教自己如何失败。人们觉得那太让人沮丧了。真的吗?当你300磅、不能读写、一团糟的时候,在那个过程中你会失败多少次?所以如果你不知道怎么失败,就不存在胜利。我从不谈论赢,因为我知道通往赢的路上,会有好几年的失败在先。
所以我先教自己如何正确地失败。没有人教你怎么失败。但如果你面对的是那种完全不合理的、毫无道理的困难——一个不会游泳的黑人小孩,300磅,要成为Navy SEAL——好吧,你最好先教自己怎么失败。因为如果你在失败里待太久,你就永远出不来了。
所以我成功的第一步是学会如何正确地失败。然后最终我开始获得一些胜利。但人们不理解这一点。当你把自己埋进一个那么深的坑里,你最好先谈谈你将要面对的那些失败。这就是那个另外的声音出现的时候。它告诉你,我们得做点什么。但它也告诉你,兄弟,我不会骗你,Goggins。你有得爬了。你会被狠狠揍。被嘲笑。外部的噪音,内部的噪音,两个声音都会告诉你滚。你将进入地狱,兄弟。
Think about this. What we teach people is kindness to yourself. Do you think if I taught myself kindness, and I agree with it, God, people, so many people take me out of context, it's ridiculous. Take it however the fuck you want to take it.
When I was 300 pounds, where you think that conversation would have got me, if I spoke kindness to myself? I tell you where it gets me. Right back to 7-Eleven, another box of mini chocolate donuts and the chocolate milkshake. That's the one voice. That's the one voice that most of us have. That you're talking about.
If you don't have a conversation in there, the other voice that you create, that says, okay, how does this look? Looks very ugly. That kind conversation for me went away a long time ago. Which is why the dialogue is now, which you see, a lot of action. Because most people have inaction, because there's one person talking, and that one person's always leading you down the same path. The path that makes you feel very comfortable and happy with yourself.
The second you create the other voice, there's conflict. There's battles. There's wars. There's defeat. One thing I learned, I taught myself this, and people go, I don't understand what you're saying. I'm gonna try to break it down real quick.
I didn't teach myself victory first. I taught myself failure. I taught myself how to fail. And people, that's so depressing. Is it? When you're 300 pounds and you can't read and write and you're fucked up, how many times you're going to fail on that process? So if you don't know how to fail, there is no victory. I never talked about winning because I knew the path to winning was, it'd be years of failing first.
So I taught myself how to fail properly. No one teaches you how to fail. But if you're going out for insurmountable odds that make absolutely no sense, a black kid that can't swim, 300 pounds, will be a Navy SEAL, okay, you better teach yourself how to fail first. Because if you sit in failure for too long, you will never come out of it.
So the first part of my success was learning how to fail properly. And then eventually I started getting a few victories. But that's what people don't get. When you have buried yourself in such a deep hole, you better first talk about the failures you're going to have first. And that's when that other voice comes up. It tells you, we got to do something. But it also tells you, boy, I'm not gonna lie to you, Goggins. You're in for a climb, bro. You're gonna get your ass handed to you. Made fun of. The outside noise, the inside noise, both voices are going to be telling you to go fuck yourself. You are in for hell, bro.
会发生的是你有所有这些声音在告诉你,你完蛋了,这会很难。但因为某种原因,你在自己身上投入了那么多练习,以至于你可以忽略每一个告诉你不会成功的声音。而且仍然能够成功。因为你已经投入了练习,你知道这就是过程。
这是一个如此艰巨的任务,所有的声音都在说不行,但你仍然有信念——我知道我能做到。这就是我走到这里的过程。20年、30年前我有这个——25年前——一个白日梦。从那以后,每一个声音都说你是疯子。但当你投入了那些练习,每天系上鞋带——我说的不只是跑步,这是人生的隐喻——当你每天系上鞋带,很快你就会赢。很快你就会赢。
你有勇气、有决心、有奉献精神、有那种心态——所有人都可以去他妈的。我知道我知道的。我已经听自己说了足够多的话来确认。我知道我知道的。你们谁都听不到我听到的。这就是人们做得不够的地方。他们不听自己的旅程。他们听别人的。然后不知不觉,我就成了疯子。但如果我这么疯,为什么我这么成功?这怎么可能?我这么被误导、被误解、有问题、不要听他的。为什么我是唯一做了一大堆事情的人?为什么我是开拓者?为什么?这怎么可能?你怎么能同时是有问题的又是白手起家的?不,不。
很明显你没有看到面前的真相。面前的真相是——这很苦。很痛。令人麻木。这就是真相。这就是为什么很多人不喜欢听我说话,因为这就是所需要的。创造另一个声音。有时候独自面对。所有时候独自面对。因为没有人会相信你。就是这样。
What happens is you have all these voices that are telling you, you're fucked up and this is going to be hard. But for some reason you put so much practice into you that you can ignore every one of them that are telling you you're not going to make it. And still be able to make it. Because you have put the practice in, that you know this is the process.
It's such a daunting task that all the voices are saying no, but you still have the conviction that I know I can do this. And that's what it took for me to get here. 20, 30 years ago I had this, 35, or whatever it was, 25 years ago, pipe dream. And ever since then, every voice was like, nut. But when you put that practice in, and every day you lace them up, and I don't mean run, it's just a metaphor for life, when you lace them up every day, pretty soon you win. Pretty soon you'll win.
You have the courage and the heart and the dedication and the mindset, about, everybody can go fuck themselves. I know what I know. I've listened to myself enough to know. I know what I know. None of you can hear what I'm hearing. And that's what people don't do enough of. They don't listen to their journey. They listen to everybody else's. Before you know it, I'm crazy. But if I'm so crazy, why am I so successful? How did that happen? I'm so misguided and misunderstood and fucked up and don't listen to him. Why am I the only one to do a whole bunch of shit? Why am I a trailblazer? Why? How is that possible? How can you be fucked up and also self-made, the same? No, no.
Obviously you're not looking at the truth in front of you. The truth in front of you is, it sucks. It's painful. It's mind-numbing. And that is the truth. And that's why a lot of people don't like listening to me, because this is what it takes. Creating another voice. And sometimes going at it alone. All the time, going at it alone. Because no one's going to believe in you. And that's that.
不幸的是,大多数人没有做功课去理解他们的无意识是如何控制着自己的。这是一件可怕的事。你的心智在控制你这个想法,你知道——我不想进入自由意志的辩论。我至少相信有某种意志。我相信你描述的东西。这个内在对话——我觉得你有通往无意识心智的入口,通过倾听那些对话、向内看。
我们知道这在睡眠中、梦中、冥想中是真实的,以及仅仅通过屏蔽一切外部事物。屏蔽所有外部噪音——噪音这个词听起来不好——但就是所有那些让我们在不知不觉中分心的事物的引力。冰淇淋啊、来块饼干啊、圣诞快乐啊。
那个无意识心智——冰山下面的巨大部分——Paul称之为超级计算机。他以神经生物学家、精神科医生、心理学家的专业知识这样说。如果一个人做真正的内省——他把它叫做橱柜。你得打开橱柜看看。里面的东西通常很可怕。大多数人就是——我连橱柜在那里都不想知道。
但你把所有的橱柜门都拉开了,然后你——你对什么转化为行动非常慎重。你不是说,哦,我生气了所以我就表现出生气。或者我累了所以我就表现出累。你是在非常仔细地选择做什么。这是一个我猜自然而然地来到你面前的过程。它是以一种——好,跑步有道理、smoke jumping有道理——这样的方式出现的吗?
所以看起来你有大量的时间花在理解自己、让事情对自己说得通上。所以当人们不理解你的时候,那一定格外令人沮丧。
And most people, unfortunately, don't do the work to understand how their unconscious is controlling them. And that's this scary thing. This idea like your mind is controlling you, you know. And I'm not going to get into the free will debate. I believe in at least some will. I believe what you're describing. And this internal dialogue, I think you have access to your unconscious mind, by listening to the dialogue, going inward.
We know this is true in sleep, in dreams, in meditation, and just by shutting out everything else. Shutting out all the external noise, which is filled with things that pull us to, noise makes it sound bad, but it's the gravitational pull of all the things that just allow us to distract ourselves without knowing. That, you know, the ice cream, the, have a cookie, the Merry Christmas.
The unconscious mind, this huge piece of the iceberg underneath, that Paul calls the supercomputer, he's saying that with knowledge as a neurobiologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, he really knows. That's the piece that if one does real introspection, he calls it the cupboards. You got to look in the cupboards. And it's often really scary what you find in there. And most people are just like, I don't even want to know the cupboards are there.
But you're pulling all the cupboard doors open, and then you're, and I'm, you're extremely deliberate with what gets put into action. You're not just going, oh, like, I'm pissed, so I'm gonna act pissed. Or I'm tired, so I'm gonna act tired. It's, you're picking very carefully what to do. And that's a process that I'm guessing came to you. Does it come to you as, okay, it makes sense why running makes sense? It makes sense why smoke jumping makes sense?
So it seems like a huge portion of your time is spent understanding yourself, and making sense to you. And so when people don't understand you, it's got to be extra frustrating.
所以我不感到羞耻。我不躲藏。我以前躲。现在不了。他说得完全对。我不懂背后所有的科学。我知道我知道的。所以我不再听任何人的了。我觉得大多数人满嘴胡扯。因为我知道那些橱柜深处的黑暗秘密。很丑陋,兄弟。
每天我都在跟它们对话。每天我都在清理它们。我在清理它们的同时跟从那些橱柜里跑出来的恶魔对话。有时候它们又跑回去了。这不容易。这就是为什么大多数人——为什么我被误解?因为我在清理那些柜子的时候跑出来的东西,有时候他们在Instagram上看到了,有时候在播客上看到了,有时候在这里看到了。我让人反感。
打开你自己的柜子,然后出来谈谈。让我看看那有多漂亮。让我看看你说得多优雅。让我看看你的措辞多工整。我打赌你也会蹦出shit或fuck来,因为要回到那里面去、清理那个恶魔跑出来过的同一个柜子,需要很大的胆量,兄弟。每天都这样做。每天都回到那里面大扫除。不是一年一次、十年一次。每一天。
你知道灰尘会积起来。每天你不是从胜利开始的。你不是说,哦,这个不错,看看我的——我爱自己——让我清理一下这点灰尘——不。我直奔那些会让我继续被埋葬的东西。我先去那里。因为如果我不先清理那些,一天都开始不了。
所以他说的对我来说是真理。就像我今天多次说的,我以前从来想不出怎么向人们解释这些,因为我不是搞神经科学的。我只是一个说"好吧,我们得从地牢开始,而且得在这里待一辈子"的人。要想成功,地牢必须保持干净。而那是最可怕的地方。所以我被误解了。因为我是从地牢里说话的。所以我成功了。因为我每天都去那里。这就是真相。
他说的,完全是事实。那些柜子里布满灰尘、肮脏不堪、可怕至极。碎玻璃。黑暗。蜘蛛。蛛网。但最重要的是,你最大的恐惧。那些让你陷入今天这种糟糕境地的最大的东西就在里面。所以我们都喜欢把它们关上。甚至锁起来。假装从来没有发生过。所以你永远不会成长。永远不会进步。永远不会有像我们现在这样真实的对话。永远不会。
哦不不不不不,别去那里。我跟很多人聊过,他们告诉我这些。但他们只能说一次,而且一带而过。不会深入其中。你不能只是清理一下。你得把它擦得锃亮。你得重新经历它。每一个细节。
你不能说,哦是的,我爸打过我,你知道,事情就是这样。嘿,事情就是这样。它在吞噬你。它在接管你的整个人生。但对话就是那样——是的,我爸,但我现在没事了。我很好。好的,没问题。不,你不好。你没有没事。你没有没事。
这是真话。人们不想听。所以你的朋友说得对。百分之百对。可怕至极。但这让你成为你应该成为的人。
这就是考验。我们忘了。我们以为我们来这里就是呼吸空气、生孩子、付账单的——每天——这一生到底是关于什么的?那说不通。被考验着,我的朋友。考验在你没有准备的时候来。考验在你以为一切安好的时候来。那就是考验。考验是你生命中的每一天。我们大多数人都失败了,因为我们不知道自己为什么在这里,因为我们不向内看——不去说,哦,你给了我很多需要修复的东西。这个考验太难了。但然后你开始了。
That's why I'm not ashamed. I don't hide. I used to hide. I don't hide anymore. He's exactly right. I don't know all the science behind it. I know what I know. That's why I don't listen to anybody anymore. I don't listen to, I think most people are full of shit. Because I know the deep dark secrets of those cupboards. It's ugly, man.
And every day I'm talking to them. Every day I'm cleaning them. I'm cleaning them. And I'm talking to the same demons that came out of those cupboards as I'm cleaning them. Sometimes they go right back in them again. It's not easy. And this is why most of us, just, why am I misunderstood? Because what comes out of those cabinets that I'm cleaning, sometimes they see on Instagram, sometimes they'll see in the podcast, sometimes they see in this one. I turn people off.
Open up your own cabinets, and then go talk about it. Let me see how pretty it looks. Let me see how pretty you sound. Let me see how put together your words are. I bet you a shit or a fuck comes out, because for you to go back in there again, to clean the same cabinet that the demon came out of, takes some big balls, bro. To do it every day of your life. To go back in there and spring clean every day. Not once a year, once every decade. Every day.
You know it gets dusty. And every day you don't start with the victories. You don't go, oh, this is nice, look at my, look at my, I love me, while let me clean up this little dusty, no. I go right for the things that are gonna keep me buried. I go right there first. Because if I don't clean those out first, the day doesn't start.
So what he's saying to me is truth. And like I told you many times today, I could never figure out how to explain this to people, because I'm not neuroscience, nothing. I'm just a guy that said, okay, we got to start in the dungeon and we got to stay here for the rest of our lives. For you to become successful, the dungeon is a place that has to be clean. And it's the scariest place to be. That's why I'm misunderstood. Because I'm speaking from the dungeon. That's why I am successful. Because I go there every damn day. And that is the truth.
What he says, it's the exact truth. Those cabinets are dusty, dirty, and scary as shit. Broken glass. Dark. Spiders. Cobwebs. But most of all, your biggest fears. The biggest things that put you in the fucked up place you are today are in there. That's why we all like to keep them shut. Even like to lock them up. Act like they never happen. That's why you never grow. You never improve. You never have real conversations like we're having right now. Never.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Let's not, no, no, no. Let's not go there. I talk to so many people who tell me that. Let's talk about this, cuz they'll tell me. But they can only say it once, and they'll say it in passing. They won't get deep in the weeds with it. Like, you can't just clean it. You gotta spit-shine that shit. You got to relive it. Every detail of it.
You can't like, oh yeah, yeah, my dad beat me and, you know, it is what it is. Hey, is what it is. It's killing you. It's taking over your whole life. But that's the conversation. Yeah, my dad, I'm fine now though. I'm good. Okay, all right. No, you ain't. You ain't fine. You ain't fine.
This is real talk. People don't want to have that. So your boy's right. 100% right. Scary as shit. It's scary as shit. But makes you who you're supposed to be.
And that's the test. We forget. We think we're supposed to breathe air and have kids and pay the bills and, every, what's this life about? That makes no sense. Being tested, my friend. Tests come when you have not studied. Tests come when you think that you're in the great place. That's the test. The test is every day of your life. And most of us fail, because we don't know why we're here, because we don't go inward to say, oh, you gave me a lot of shit to fix, man. And this test sucks. But then you start.
就像你说的,你发展了一种技能。但这是一种易逝的技能。你显然每天都在打开那些橱柜、重新打开那些橱柜、试图把它们擦得锃亮、明白它们永远不会真正完成。但你可以一点点赢回阵地,一天又一天地赢。
你确实分享了很多具体的东西,我相信——我知道——如果人们选择的话,他们是可以应用的。我同意你的说法,大多数人会想——哇,那太沉重了。太沉了。我还是去窝在沙发上看Netflix吃Chex Mix吧。
但也有这样一个现实——有男人、有女人、有男孩、有女孩,他们听到了之后会说,好吧——然后开始把那些橱柜门打开。我只想说,对于我自己,我非常感激你愿意把这一切都展现出来。你如此残酷地坦诚。如此残酷地真实。"真实性"这个词被用得太泛了。但我可以告诉你,对我和所有人来说,那才是真正引起共鸣的东西。
所以不管你是否想要如此,不管这是不是背后的目的,你在照亮道路。谢谢你。致敬。
And like you said, you developed a skill. But it's a perishable skill. And you clearly live in the process of opening those cupboards, reopening those cupboards, trying to spit-shine those cupboards, understanding that they're never ever really done. But that you can gain ground on them, that you can win day after day after day.
And you really shared a lot of concrete things that I think, I know, people are going to be able to apply if they choose, right. And I agree with you, I think most people will be like, whoa, that was a lot. It's heavy. I think I want to just kind of bake myself in Netflix and Chex Mix. Instead.
But there's also the reality that there are men and women, boys and girls, who hear that and go, okay, and start cracking the cupboards open, right. And I just know that, you know, for myself, I'm extremely grateful that you're willing to put it all out there. You're so brutally honest. So brutally authentic. That word authenticity gets thrown around so much. And I can tell you that, for me and for everybody else, like, that's what really resonates.
So whether or not you want to, whether or not it's the purpose behind it or not, you're lighting the path. So thank you. Respect.